Bella

I loved the lyrics to concussion, they just seemed like the type of song I'd listen too, and Riverlight just seemed really upbeat; I actually had my own little tune ...

I don't think it's impossible for a person like Ms. Ragnus to get a job teaching; i think it'd be unlikely that she'd keep the job for very long, but ...

This is really good, pretty gripping. A coupld comments... "dark oblivion with no means of escape. It was dark" "It was dark all around" This part is very very repetative...*sorry ...

I agree with Ofour, your wording could use A LOT of help. I had to reread some sentences four or five times before I understood what you were trying to ...