BamickAZ

:) Very good job. I really liked it and I could see it used as a story a character tells within a longer story. It seems like it's dialogue from ...

Or at the end you could put, "Please think of me and be wise" Althought that might sound a little wordy once you put it in. But check it out, ...

Hhhmm…where to start? Well, first of all, the story was really good in its overall aspects. The movements in the story were easy to follow and interesting. For such a ...

You're very comical and you have an energy in your writing voice that is to be envied, but I am more stoical and I know it and since that is ...

Hi Areida07, I would appreciate your comments on "Sylvin," but its really long, so take your time. But, what I really wanted to say was, your story really is a ...

"I like it, I like it!" I really like this poem, but I have some suggestions that you might want to try out. Hope they help... 1st stanza => Beautiful, ...

Sonicroyale (Tarver), Thanks so much for the offer to edit my story further. I would really appreciate that. I'll e-mail it to you later, I am not on my personal ...

I actually haven't read the whole poem yet, but I read the title and I just started laughing. It reminds me of that line from "American Pie," the song. "The ...

A Story - Sylvin By: Brooke Amick Chapter 1 Sylvin walked the barely trodden path through the forest on her way to the Hartford’s home. The Hartford’s house was located ...

Sentence 1: Good. Sentence 2: What the heck are you talking about? What are you describing with “blue guardianship just below the ceiling?” It is not clear enough. Sentence 3: ...

The Twelve Days of Christmas Prologue I curled up my toes and wished the day would never end. In the first line you say, “I curled up my toes and ...

One of God’s Wonders A ball of flame, hot and white Red and orange shining, yellow giving light Purple, pink wisps of air Perfect wonder everywhere Light and warmth dance ...

LET MY PEOPLE STAY There is a place on the Mediteranean where I learned to walk, run and ride where I experienced love, loss and life => Awesome, good flow, ...

The Mask Clear, translucent skin Cemented and opaque Lush, beautiful lips Stifled and stitched Large, glowing eyes Overwhelmed and shut Smooth, untainted cheek Stretched and barred Shapely, arched bro

Hi, I read your poem "Monsoon" and I came up with some suggestions for how you could improve it, but remember these are just suggestions and my opinions. First of ...