Aziraphale

My. Where to start? I'll go with the usual - by picking apart your first few sentences. But tell me, is a blank page the best hook you can come ...

Morning, Cao. Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but I believe you spent a considerable amount of time with the thesaurus while writing this piece. If not, then you must have ...

Evening. I have no idea what you're trying to accomplish with your first sentence, except maybe establish how much you adore adjectives. Three adjectives for one noun. That's quite a ...

Evening. There are plenty of things wrong with this piece, and I'd like to start at the beginning (where else?). Your hook is laughable. I say this with no sarcasm ...

Evening. Here to review, as usual. Your first two sentences reek of ellipsis abuse. I'd cut them out, as they have no relation to the story whatsoever. They feign meaning ...

Evening. Dropping by to review. Upon reading your first sentence, I believe I've found what I've been looking for - the elusive hook. Unfortunately, this hook lacks context. Still, a ...

Evening, Amelia. I hope you don't mind my opinions on this piece. Normally, I'd begin a review by critiquing the author's hook, but you have none. The first paragraph/sentence is ...

Good evening, Ranger. I hope you don't mind, but I'm here to review this piece. It's my first review, so do tell me if I've done something wrong. Constructive criticism ...