Azila

This is really good, Camille! I love the mood you set and all. I really think this is my favorite description I've seen from you! And your paragraphs are much ...

Wow! This piece is stunning! You capture the peaceful solitude of winter (not to mention the brittle serenity of a doe) beautifully! Really, I noticed very few mistakes... good job! ...

This was pretty good. I liked the message, but I think (and no, I'm nowhere near an expert in poetry) that some of the rhythm was a little off. I ...

Pretty good. The dialogue is very realistic and all, but there are a lot of typos. Do you have a spell check? Because if you do, then you should run ...

Hi there Val! Welcome to the site! Just remember to read FAQs and Rules and you will be fine here. PM me if you have a question or want a ...

I agree that writing is a very good escape from the stress of the real world. Sometimes when I'm feeling worried or nervous I'll just whip out a notebook and ...

No, I get the joke. :wink: ~A~

Hi! Welcome! If you ever need a critique or have a question feel free to PM me and I'll be happy to help you out. Have fun here! ~Azila~

This is ok. You need a lot more description, though, because it's almost ALL dialogue. And I hate to admit it, but I found myself drifting and skimming. Try to ...

Alright... I think (as, apparently, do all the other critiquers) that this could be good if there was a little more description. Right now it's almost all dialogue and the ...

Well, I think author13 and VampX13 pretty much covered it all. This piece is okay, but the flow needs to be worked on. Right now it feels a little--dry. There's ...

Hi there, and welcome to the YWS! I find that when you use the "pre" feature it makes your text come out in a really weird font that I have ...

I recommend NEVER using the "pre" setting for posting your stories on these forums. It makes the text in a really weird font that (I think) is really hard on ...

Hi there Beefcake! Interesting username... though it doesn't sound very inviting to me because I'm vegetarian. :lol: Anyway,you said that you like dance--do you dance? What kind of dance? I ...

Hi! Nice introduction! ^_^ I think that the last line would go better as "So we can make a difference." but other than that, nice little piece you got there! ...