Azila

I read this! I cried so hard when [spoiler]he dropped the pot over the cliff.[/spoiler] A very good book, I recommend it highly. ~Azila~

Hi there Emily! This piece is pretty good. It's pretty much just an introduction... introducing your character--which isn't a bad idea to do in the first chapter. This is alright ...

1. I love the contrast between the bronze-orange of the water and the green-blue of the statue, very nice! 2. This one feels a bit washed out to me... especially ...

This is getting better and better! Really, I see a lot of improvement since the first version. The emotion in this part is really powerful, and you have a LOT ...

This looks a lot better! Just so that you know, though, it's more advisable to edit your first post then to keep on posting new versions. You'll find the Edit ...

This version is much better! You give more background and description and you've gotten rid of a lot of the repetition Good Job! I guess I won't be able to ...

Time of Incident (include your timezone): 11:05 am EST Browser: Mozilla Firefox Template: Default Page You Were On: Going to Other Fiction (from a post in Other Fiction, I think...) ...

Another good one is to go for a long walk and think about what you want to write. Think about what inspires you. ~Azila~

Another thing that I disliked was that he was incredibly racist. Anyone who's read the book will know what I mean; blacks were constantly referred to by the N word ...

That was really well-written and intriguing. It kept my attention the whole way, and even though I would love to learn more about the situation, the world, the main character, ...

Time of Incident: around 1:10 am EST Browser: Mozilla Firefox Template: Default Page You Were On: Posting a review on darkest_of_them_all 's "My Sunshine" in Other Fiction. Do You Have ...

At first I couldn't find this because I was looking for it in the Romance Forums. I can't believe you've finally written something that's not romance! :P Anyway, about the ...

The blissful stars glittered in the darkening sky. Large mountains and cliffs toward over me, and everything seemed hushed. Sentence #1>> "Blissful" sounds awkward. I'd make it: "The [adjective?] star

Thank you so much everyone for the (very positive) reviews! I'll go get you back, Vivi! ~Azila~

The area is so hushed, one can almost hear them, plopping down gently onto beds of moss. Above,the sky is a solid black, interrupted only by the tiny spots of ...