Azila

Thank you both! Prokaryote: I absolutely know what you mean about that sentence. I was trying to sort of take the reader inside the rain drops. But you're right, I ...

This is the first time I've done one of these, so please let me know if I'm doing something wrong. The activity: one person gives a title and the next ...

A flash of lightning momentarily illuminates the landscape. The sky is a tumultuous battlefield. The wind is an almost visible current that tatters the white clouds and enrages the dark ...

I will most definitely reread it. PM me when you post it, k? Glad I could help!! :D ~A~

Hi! I hope I'm not to late and you had to send it in already!!! Okay, that said let's get on with it. You said I could tear it apart, ...

Oh, that must have been scary. Once I put a piece of corn in my nostril and we had to go to the emergency room cause every time I inhaled ...

Very, very refreshing, original and I can totally relate. Great job! I don't have the energy right now to do a full line-by line critique, but I have one big ...

Haha! That's such a cool story... even more so because it's true! One suggestion I have is that you space out your paragraphs more, meaning rather than having this: Towards ...

I really enjoyed this and it really kept me reading. The plot is (so far anyway) very intriguing and original. One negative thing is that you seem to skip from ...

"Papa, I'm scared. What's going on?" That is used SOO often in pieces like this. Stop and think: would a really little kid actually say "Papa, I'm scared"? Show us ...

Very nice! I like it a lot... and can relate, in fact, seeing as I live next to a graveyard and have for all my life. But anyway, back to ...

I really enjoyed this! I love the way you started out with having the family kind of distant, then by then end you felt like you were one of them. ...

Thanks people! I'll try to work with all those me's (whoa! That sounds like I have multiple personality disorder :P) you commented on. And I'll change that capitalization thingy too... ...

Intricate shadows, forged by thrashing branches outside the window. Shivering and slithering across my limp form. Should be "...the window, shiver and slither across my limp form." Today is June ...

Hi! WELCOME TO YWS!!! :smt026 Hope you continue to love it as much as you seem to now :D!! PM me if you've got questions!! ~Azila