Audy

Lovely imagery! I liked the winter/summer metaphors actually. The paleness/melting ice versus the coral/pebble/sea. It really creates a sense of that 'contradiction'. Need to change 'their' (5th line

Intriguing first chapter, but somewhat short. At first I'm thinking the pencil is just hovering around on its own, it's only until you mention that there's a hand that I ...

The young lady who lives next door, she's been all alone since her parents died. Since that day she's rarely seen outside. When she is seen, she's wearing only black. ...

Hiya Pen, It's been a long while since I've last been on YWS; so bear with me, as I'm a little rusty. Some things I should point out: upon first ...

Jadah, You were looking for a beta-reader, and coincidentally, I am looking for something to read. It always makes me happy when I see other writers who are passionate and ...

R oun d and r oun d, My Pride likes to go on these carnival rides— He does— not I. Mounted atop Fortune's wheel, He surveys the carnival-scape of Life ...

Hey cagedheart, The poem's in the right place ;) It's very lyrical indeed. I like how you managed to bring similes and metaphors with each stanza, I commend you for ...

Hey Rascal, I like this - I like the idea and how you went about this. It's pretty well written, and flows okay. You've got the bones and structure of ...

Hey C, I'm in need of a review :) Thoughts? Suggestions for improvement? It'd be most helpful ^^ My poem, please? Thanks very much I really appreciate all you're doing ...

Be not my world for if you were my world then your laughter becomes the earthquakes rattling my bones; and those tears trail down as rain, poisoning my lips. Be ...

Hey nonfiction, Just an honest review of sorts. I liked this. In a poem of such few words you've captured such complex emotions - but remember to make the words ...

Hey Spaceman, Just a few things I noticed: Scrambling to my feet I try to move away, Like a mouse no comma necessary here running away from an owl Fire, ...

I was just a hundred yards away when I saw her slender frame. If I reach out my hand, I could embrace her between thumb and forefinger. She had her ...

Eimear, I absolutely love this, it's so very true of our time. :) I like the lyrical quality of it, and the style just reveals so much voice and character, ...

Silented, Absolutely beautiful! Skimming through most of the reviews, I think the blatant errors were already mentioned, just don't forget to go back and fix them ^^. The last stanza ...