AstridBartleby

This is a great start! Your descriptions are vivid without being over-the-top. There are just a couple of things that seem a bit awkward linguistically. First of all, you should ...

Aside from one or two capitalization errors, this is great! I love The Landlady, it's one of my favourite short stories, and this ending is terrific! Keep up the great ...

While there is definitely some potential in the story's idea, there are several things that could use some reworking. First of all, as previously mentioned, you do need to watch ...

I've gotta agree with klotrox16, your descriptions are amazing! I have a real sense of Darulli's deteriorating mind and how he sees the world. And you already know how much ...

This is great! One of the creepiest stories I've ever read. I love the use of the parts in italics in the second part. They add this great other dimension ...

Thank you.

Do you have to know what the screenplay is about? The story's supposed to capture a moment, in an hour, he may feel delighted to be in LA... does not ...

My plane was landing. I grabbed the seatbelt from the side of my leather seat. I’d been on planes before, and this was no different. Aside from better grub and ...