Asith

Thanks for posting another review feather :) It's nice to see that you continue to follow my work. I'll be working on the things you outlined. Thanks :D

Great, this is exactly the type of review I wanted :) I'll definitely be working on all these things, so thanks!

This part has a lot of dialogue in it - more than the first part, at least. It's not something I'm used to, so tell me if it feels unnatural, ...

That's great, jut try to bring it out more in your writing ;)

Thanks for the review, it's really helpful :) I'll definitely be reworking the things you pointed out, so again, thanks a lot :D

Yep, it's apparent that I didn't realise the use of parenthesis is very touchy. It's being dealt with in the rework of the passage :) Thanks for dropping the review!

Thanks feather, your suggestions mean a lot! If we didn't know from the picture, we know that Toby has wings because he is flying and talks about his feathers. The ...