Ares

I actually kinda like the ending, very blunt. BAM! Until you fall! Mwahahaha. It's cool.

Good start though.

Interesting. Seems like a pretty cool beginning. If you're taking the story seriously though, you may want to shift the tone a little bit and make it a shade darker. ...

Sweet. Nothing negative to say. Just...sweet.

That's great. But Barbies? Kill people, or cats, not Barbies!

Bad stuff. But good stuff. We got em!

Sharty was a cool member too. Farewell.

I don't see why there's a lack of critiques, this is a great story so far. Anyhoo, Chapter 2... It was good. The whole time. A few words such as ...

PM me when it's revised and posted. -MH

Greetings. Paranormal eh? Sounds cool.

The rest of the penguins kind of stayed together in the ditch. Well thats good. And woot! Indianapolis!

Well then I'll just look at the new version. Doesn't that make more sense?

Go critique, or look up maps on St. Petersburg, that sounds fun.

lol. Yea I did. So you're sticking with DD then?

Morningstar is cool. Morgenstern or whatever...not so much. And Nate, in my case, I change stuff A LOT. I just get sick of stuff easily. It's weird. But I definetly ...