AquaMarine

I like your use of repetition and subject choice. Those two things were well done, nice job. For me, this didn't flow too well. Your line breaks seem off and ...

You have kind of strange line breaks here, which is annoying. I would suggest reading the poem through and picking up on places where you stumble or lose the beat. ...

Yes! You don't go emo the entire poem! You actually deviate from the overall cliché 'OMG I miss you so much' in this poem, which is a lovely thing to ...

Some of the rhymes here do seem forced, but in a way that add this comic (and, as Kammie said, childish) edge to your poem which I actually like. I ...

I actually really like the way that you take the parts of the rose as imagery. It works nicely and it flows well, so that's great! One thing that annoyed ...

Hi! So, well done on the rhyme scheme. It actually works, which is nice. You don't notice it, in a way, which is wonderful because that shows it isn't forced. ...

Well, I'm pretty much repeating other people but the annoying thing about this is the forced rhyme. You really, really want to cut it out. I mean, why do you ...

I'm with the Bond here. When you don't give us anything about the narrator, the narrator seems pretty creepy. He, at the moment, is not a fleshed out person, the ...

I'm with Kyllorac here, I'm afraid. You need to flesh this out rather a lot and make it unique to this person. You've used such generic images without expanding on ...

Hey there! Nitpicks: And he let my happyness happiness fade Alone with my thought s The days got better as i I forgot about him never completly gone just a ...

Hey there! Ok, so some of the rhyme here felt kind of forced. It's not terrible, but I get the feeling that you could word it so much better if ...

Hi there! Ok, so my biggest problem with this poem is that it sounds a little like prose. Part of that it because of the generally non-poetic language used, and ...

Hey there! Ok, so there were a couple of things which bugged me about the poem. Number one was the 'philosophical' questions you tried to put to us. 'Are performances ...

I know about the uncapitalised I. In July I was a different person. *sob*

Hey there! So, I do like this poem. You've touched on a really nice idea here, and you've done some used some nice ideas to illustrate it. However, as people ...