AquaMarine

Hey there! So, some of the imagery you've used here is powerful, very powerful. The word 'holocaust' alone has huge implications, so I guess it's a good word to use. ...

Hey there! Wow, this is long! Kind of off-putting for readers, you know. Maybe you could split it into seperate poems. They could each have something to say that's linked, ...

This is quite lovely! As you said, you've made some it simplistic, which nonetheless adds to the feeling of nothingness that is so tangible throughout your poem. It's really good, ...

Hey there! I think, as people have said, that it would be nice if here you branched out from just describing this, to exploring this. Go deeper than just the ...

Hey there! You have a lovely writing style, you really do. It's kind of unique, which is lovely, and it works with the poem that you've written. I do think ...

Hey there, You seem like one of those infinitely lucky people who manage to pull off a rhyme scheme in poetry without seeming too forced and while actually making the ...

Hey there! So, for this poem I agree with Snoink. Rather than centring round the story of yourself, why not try writing more about the actual emotions of the debate, ...

I actually really liked this poem! The linking and repetition worked well for me, it really did. It feels like you've thought it through, which is nice. It all works ...

Hey there! So, this is pretty simplistic and short. I'm assuming that this is the way you want it to be, that it's deliberate, rather than something you didn't really ...

Hi everyone! Welcome to YWS!

Hey there! My main problem with this is the flow. The rhymes make it seem kind of bad, which is sad because you've chosen such a lovely subject choice! Some ...

Hey there! Ok, so the subject of the poem wasn't my favourite. But that's because I'm one of those crazily optimistic people with a brain full of candy hearts. ;) ...

Hey there! I am critiquing your newer one, I think that's the point. XD Now, my biggest problem with this is the fact that you seem to just tell the ...

Hey there! Hmm, I'm sort of iffy about this poem. You have a good idea, but there are some major problems along the way. One if the questions that you ...

Hey there! Wow! You've taken a pretty cool metaphor here and used it well throughout your poem. As people have obviously said before me, it was very nice. I don't ...