AquaMarine

Hey there! So, I haven't read the first parts of your story so I guess I can't comment on how it relates to those. However, I can pick up some ...

Hey there, welcome to YWS! You have some really lovely imagery here. The part I'm most fond of is 'Acid rain runs down my face,'. It's sort of original, and ...

Hey there! Welcome to YWS! One thing I would say, just quickly, is that I don't think you need to put the words in italics. You should let the words ...

Hey there! Welcome to YWS. My problem here is that it doesn't really tell the reader much, you know? As June said, there isn't much of a back story so ...

Hey Forest! As people have said before me, you've done really well with this poem. It has great imagery, and paints lovely pictures in my head. But the repetition is ...

Hey there! The problem for me is that this doesn't feel too much like a poem. That's kind of for two reasons. Number one is that the way it's written ...

Because you're on fire. Why do I like salt so much?

Hey Ahmed! Here as requested. I'm just going to go over some points with you. Characters: Jason: Gosh, this guy is boring. And by boring, I mean pretty lifeless. Now, ...

umm.. a world war maybe o.O Should I be worried? ... :D You should pop into chat sometime. It's a wonderful place full of rainbows and unicorns really cool stuff. ...

Rightio then ... :twisted: Do you prefer salt, vinegar or ketchup with your chips? Do you like orange juice? Spots or stripes? Should vampires really sparkle? What are your resolutions ...

Awesome. Penultimate is a nice word, at least the sound of it is. But it reminds me of the end which is sad, I guess. Would you like some more ...

Welcome to YWS, Becca! Can I just say that I absolutely love that name. :) So, what kind of stuff do you write? What do you like to read? Do ...

Hi Ahmed! Welcome to YWS! It's great that you've joined us. YWS is the perfect place to get really helpful feedback on any type of writing. If you want to ...

Hey Laura! As Jiggs said, there are a load of older members on YWS, so that's all good. :D How's your novel going at the moment? What kind of genre ...

Hey there, welcome to YWS! I absolutely love JK Rowling. If you're a real fan of Harry Potter, why not check out the usergroup dedicated to the books! It's a ...