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Re: Summer
ah thanks, sorry it's bad but i just got back from holiday so i had to write something, i have been waiting for a bit of sun for a year! ...
Jul 26, 2009 -
Re: Facebook Mania!
yeah that didn't relate to me at all but i liked it, totally true of our generation. and funnily enough people have tagged hair on some of my facebook photos. ...
Jul 25, 2009 -
Re: Inside me
Dark thoughts, hate and violence. i don't know but to me hate and violence are kind of cliched "dark" thoughts. maybe you wanted them there but im pretty sure there ...
Jul 25, 2009 -
Re: Summer
The scorching sun, The blazing heat, Pounding down, Onto the street. A whirlwind of lotions, Bikinis and tans. Painted nails, Magazines and fans. Packing all you need For a warm, ...
Jul 25, 2009 -
Re: waves
Hey! I thought this was really good! I liked the unspoken metaphor in the first stanza - that people will follow other people through their life, doing the same things ...
Jul 25, 2009 -
Re: I remember
Hi there, i really enjoyed reading this piece, it holds memories that i have too! So, Climbing over broken branch and unused stile, Feet tripping on the grass. Sun glaring ...
Jul 12, 2009 -
Re: i can see it now..
Loved it! those still frames.. can't hide shit.. your not happy... i can see it.. so at the start i thought it was rhyming 'cause of this, but it's less ...
Jul 8, 2009 -
Re: Blue
thanks for that, the punctuation mistakes were all accidental, as was the lack of a full stop, i will correct those in a sec. My idea of "faded denim" was ...
Jul 1, 2009 -
Re: Debris
i did really like the rhythm and rhyme in this, it flowed well and none of the rhymes felt forced. But i think one of the reasons they weren't forced ...
Jul 1, 2009 -
Re: " I just want "
when i started to read this i loved the rhyme and rhythm, it was perfect! but this section didn't work so well. and rub your nose. I just want Your ...
Jul 1, 2009 -
Re: Blue
The deepest ocean; The clearest sky. A soaring eagle flying high. Faded denim trudging the sand; A piercing eye surveying the land. Glistening waves rushing to shore, and darting creatures ...
Jul 1, 2009 -
Re: the shadows are dancing..
Wow! (yes, i had to review it!) I really like this, it has a really peaceful rhythm and flow, it just reads well i guess. I agree with the ellipsis ...
Jun 29, 2009 -
Re: I hear the whistling
i didn't really get this poem, but i have to agree with the above. Please, just please, delete the repetition. Don't get me wrong, i love repetition when it's used ...
Jun 28, 2009 -
Re: Fighting
i guess i'm pretty much agreeing with everyone else, i love the idea of the piece, i really liked these lines There's a vice sitting on my chest like an ...
Jun 28, 2009 -
Re: Twilight : The real story
Totally brilliant! thanks it made my morning. I disagree with some of the comments, the way you used parts from the actual book just made it better for me! But ...
Jun 27, 2009
