Anonymous

I AM PULLING THIS NOVEL DOWN FROM THE SITE

Honestly, I was a bit confused while reading it. It just seems like a lot of strong emotions or words pushed together. My advice would be to go back and ...

Um, to be honest I don't like how it's so short and so to the point. It seems like it would be a better story if you elaborated more on ...

I AM PULLING THIS NOVEL DOWN FROM THE SITE

I AM PULLING THIS NOVEL DOWN FROM THE SITE

I AM PULLING THIS NOVEL DOWN FROM THE SITE

This is a great short story, but I think you should elaborate more on the whole parents scheming to get money out of the girl's kidnapping. And another thing, what ...

It's good, it's bad, it's confusing. I agree with the others, add more detail. It's sounds like it has potential, don't pitch this, keep working on it. :smt002 I hope ...

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? :elephant: I like it, it's so short, yet so much is said within the shortness of the paragraph. It makes me wonder what's going to happen next ...

Um.... I like the beginning, however this doesn't seem like it's a prologue or first chapter. It seems...incomplete. Is there more? Is the girl going to ask her cousin why ...

Good solid beginning, the problem? It's too short! It's not a bad thing, if I were you I would build from there. Why is Valentina alone? What exactly happened? Can ...

I think you should continue writing, the 'rape' thing wasn't too graphic. The only thing wrong I could think of would be the development of Will Sheldon's character. It seems ...

I thought it was interesting. Though the first paragraph, in my opinion, reminded me of Twilight, but it still pulled me in. I look forward to seeing what happens next.

I AM PULLING THIS NOVEL DOWN FROM THE SITE

I AM PULLING THIS NOVEL DOWN FROM THE SITE