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Anijumper

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Diaries of an Ex Queen Bee- Ch 1: Thoughts of a Dvasted Girl

    Although at first it sounds like this idea is a cliche, if you make her learning/transition process unique this could be good. The only thing I worry about is that ...

    Aug 12, 2008
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Nita

    Intriguing. This is the type of story that's the most fun to review because you feel compelled to keep reading it! Your story is full of great description, and you've ...

    Aug 12, 2008
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: 2 to 3 hearts

    I agree about your spacing. A new paragraph should begin each time someone speaks. I'd recommend reading this out loud to yourself or someone else so you can see where ...

    Aug 12, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: The Angel Mission Chp. 1

    This is definitely an interesting idea that's just begging for a chapter two. :wink: First of all I think that you could add some description of the high school itself ...

    Aug 11, 2008
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: Lock and Key

    I loved this book. It dealt with some heavy stuff, but the author did it extremely well. It also has a bit of a theme of holding on to the ...

    Aug 8, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Hel~Ven - Chapter One

    D uring the final step of the process, what kind of valedictorian fell asleep on their graduation day? Capitalization And how dare she be even the least bit interested in ...

    Jul 5, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Forever rewrite chapter 1

    She needed a hot shower, but since her dad was probably using it, she'd settle for a book. If you make this one whole sentence instead of two separate ones, ...

    Jul 5, 2008


okay I think I need to grab some nachos
— BluesClues