Aly_Tobias

“ It’s something to laugh about…the way he said it.” say to said When you loose someone you're never the same again your to you're I sucked in my breath, ...

Looks like I've been beaten to the hard evil critique. *pouts* Well let me just tell you that you've got me hooked. There were gramatical mistakes and it could do ...

OMG, now that is the situation I hope I am never put in. My dad would skin me before roasting me over a fire to then send down to [insert ...

Ok other than a bit of mistakes that I honestly don't feel like pointing out at the momet (I just woke up, forgive me) this is pretty good. I like ...

Ok! :D Time for the fixing of errors, and all that other stuff known as critiquing. A piercing cry echoed about the Silver Ghost . The names of ships should ...

Wow, I really like this piece. You can easily feel the saddness, anger and resentment from the writer. *gives a gold star* :D It could do with some more description ...

While this is interesting there's just too much dialogue. Tell us what they're doing while they're talking, give us a description of their attitudes, emotions, and facial expressions. Other than ...

First impressions? I immediately feel bad for that poor secretary! To have to put up with Mr. Chang every day? I think I'd shoot myself first...or him...whoever was closer. Second ...

I'm so evil I know, I found the last of the mistakes. Ya know I love ya, lol! :D I froze , I didn't know what it was and most ...

Wow. Your story absolutely captured me. I love it. There are a few places where it could flow better, but other than that it was wonderful. I love how you ...

The rest of the weekend had been eventless, dull and nothing very interesting had happened. No helping verbs needed (change "had been" to "was") and watch which time you're putting ...

I'll admit when I first opened your post and saw how short it was I was a bit skeptical since I was reading more than one thing at once, but ...

I can honestly say that I have no complaints with this piece. The way you hook in your readers is engaging and informative without being dull or boring. At the ...

Your school tried to suspend you for this lovely piece of work? Dear lord they are derranged. I tried finding something to critique as I went through and read it ...

In the store there was only a few people. "Was" should be "were" We were going to be reading Oliver Twist , which I’ve already read three months ago. "I've" ...