Ali-cat

Hey this is really good, and i know that its meant to be an action story, but its all flowing a bit too fast because its getting hard to keep ...

This was better than your first piece, so yay! Most of your mistakes have already been pointed out, but just to remind you- * try and keep the tense the ...

I liked this it was interesting! Whats going to happen now? Are there people on the island? Is there food? Do they get rescued? I think you should have described ...