Alainna

Heya. This part was a little lacking. I liked the beginning with Chase but the rest needs a bit of a boost. You seem to have hurried this piece a ...

Hey OverEasy. Another interesting installment. Two days after my 12th birthday had passed; You need to change this sentence as it doesn't flow and isn't really grammatically correct. Try: Two ...

Another very well - written piece filled with emotion that is simply captivating. His sandy blond hair and pretty blue eyes, who would have thought the boogeyman was beautiful in ...

Hey there. All the writing errors have been previously pointed out - there is no point in me going over them. I really liked this. It contained enough poignant emotion ...

Hey Rach and welcome to the one and only YWS!! *hands out cookies* If you ever need anything at all then feel free to send a pm my way. I'm ...

Hiya Firebird and welcome to YWS!! If you need anything at all then feel free to pm me and I'll be happy to help you out as best as I ...

Hola Lucas and a big welcome to YWS!! *hands out party poppers* Ah, the saxophone? That sounds really cool. If you ever need anything at all then feel free to ...

Hey guys, The summer holidays are nearly here and so my exams are over and the work load is slowing down, meaning......critique time! I'll crit anything to be honest - ...

Hello there and welcome to YWS!!! *hands out muffins* I'm fine, how are you? If you ever need anything at all then feel free to pm me and I'll help ...

OK, I'm going to go through this line by line or more or less as you have lots of punctuation and grammar errors. Try using a spell - checker and ...

so there is very little pressure. Wrong. Actually, in the K, there IS a lot of pressure - to NOT get circumcision. That's the problem with the British and the ...

These are very nice - the third one is especially beautiful. I think in some of them you could of zoomed in a bit more or got a better angle, ...

Hey there and welcome to the site! I waved goodbye to my mother for one last time as her car pool pulled up and the driver of the car honked ...

Hey and welcome to the site. This was good but I think that a lot of your errors could have been avoided by proof - reading your work before posting. ...

Hey there. This is a good start, with a lot of potential and I enjoyed reading it. A few things: She worked for a few minutes in silence but, being ...