Alainna

A very emotional piece. Well written and very meaningful. This was the only line I was slightly unsure about... your smell burns me to the soul It just doesn't sound ...

lol. like the last bit. 7.5/10 :D

I did enjoy this poem, it flowed easily. 'endless stress' is spot on... :P HeHe. I am a fan of last line repetition and you used it well. Why can ...

Hi! Welcome to YWS. Need anything just pm me. Alainna PS. Great username and avatar. XXX

Ok.........Apple Pie or Apple crumble? :lol: xxx

Hola! Welcome to YWS!!! See you around Alainna XXXXX

HI!!!!!!!!! Welcome to YWS....you've probably heard all the usual... You'll soon get used to the site and make loads of friends. :D See you around!! Alainna xxxxxx

Just a short poem based on feelings, crit would be great! :P Enjoy. Hurt What hurts is that you’d hold her, The same way you held me, That you’d whisper ...

Much, much ,much better!! This poem now seems complete and flows easily, which is very good for hooking the reader. Only complaint...........I didn't want it to end!! Much better (I ...

Hehe!! :lol: That is a mixture of weird, funny and sad. But it is all written really well. I doubt i can crit much on the story ( as it ...

YAY!! You put in some dialouge, which makes it move faster than 'the canned beans'. Don't mean to sound annoying but I actually preferred Canned Beans to this, as I ...

Continuation. Feel free to crit!! Part 2 The next day I woke at six thirty, just as the spring sun was rising. I sat by my dressing table, riffling through ...

Awwwwwwwwwww!!! That made me feel all mushy inside. (I hope that's what it was intended to do...) It was very emotive, my only crit is that it could probably be ...

I really like the imagery that this piece provokes. I also like the repetition and use of a question. However I also do not understand where it was going, maybe ...

Thanks for the crit, all is taken on board. I will be posting in parts and my next post (part 2) will be soon. It would be great if you ...