Aidankay

I suggest you write a novel, but if it's your first probally don't publish it just yet. Keep the first novel you've written and keep checking back on it as ...

Who knew that the heart of a monster could be broken as easily as that of a human being? I liked the way you started this, it instantly gained my ...

Nice work! I love the way that you shortened the sentences with commas and full stops, gives the text a great illusion to the suspense. Also i liked the way ...

Reading the novel and reading the comments the people above pretty much have it spot on. In the end its your choice what you use, but to be more effective ...

I like the way that you "show don't tell". By showing us the mood, rather then telling us he was "angry" if you get my drift. My first and only ...

I really like your writing style. The main thing i look for in an opening scene/chapter is always the first paragraph, if you made the reader gripped a bit more, ...

Wow, it was just like I was reading from a book. This is really good. The very beginning paragraph sets a great mood, and setting. I had a perfect picture ...

There was a series of events that led to Lord Isaac’s downfall which I believe are of the greatest importance. The first thing i always make sure i do is ...

Toothpick! Inside a house you can find a soda can, and you can put a tooth pick into a phone so.... Yay kind of logic! Never saw it like that, ...