Afterthought

Thanks everyone, I appreciate it massively :D argh, I hadn't even intended the double meaning of ride! There's a verb choice that's really got to go! It's been a massive ...

Tonight I am a cartographer. Where to begin? Perhaps with the road of your spine, familiar, a well known line. Next, here are the hills of your shoulder blades, and ...

Woot for empowering poetry :D My advice, summarised, would be that there's some excellent lines that are getting lost in the blah lines, and you'd pack a lot more punch ...

This poem makes me want to go all philosopher instead of poet, the theme is wonderful :D and you raise all the right questions. I think it's important to note, ...

:D That's just the right amount of perfects now!

First off, I really liked this! To answer your questions - actually, the perfect did bug me after a while, in the 4th stanza the most. I think using it ...

I reckon the rhyming is holding your ideas back. I liked lines like 'breathing the same air' - that's a nice image - but a lot of the lines aren't ...

I really like this, especially the closing stanza. The 'christened head' confused me - I don't understand why it is christened? But that may be just me!

Thanks for the time :D I appreciate it, I'll work on it again with those suggestions.

I applied for a new passport today. Took my photo at the booth. Snap. Poker face. I remember the last one: soft violet jumper Plastic beads around the neck. It ...

I really like this! Especially the closing two lines. I'm not sure about 'Before you ran free in the air' - wouldn't fly make more sense? Cool poem.

Thanks :D I've been sniffing around and found the music and debate groups, my membership request is pending! I mainly write poetry, I often start on a longer project but ...

Thanks :D I've been sniffing around and found the music and debate groups, my membership request is pending! I mainly write poetry, I often start on a longer project but ...

Hey, I'm Afterthought, I joined this site about ten minutes ago *waves*. I really enjoy writing, and also music and debating. Er... that's all for now really. See you all ...