0xJazzy

I really liked this, it had rhythm to it and nice lyrics :) So keep writing ! xXx

I really liked this and the atmosphere you created :) Simple but good :L Keep it up xXx

I really liked it! It flowed and the feelings came across well. That burning that dooms me. This line didn't sound quite right to me, I think you need to ...

You opened up the poem really well :) I really liked these lines I know it'll overtake me, your pain, your crazy grin. My poor heart can't take this, It's ...

I loved this :) The language you used was nice, as you varied your vocabulary. I loved the first verse, it introduced the poem very well and told us what ...

Ahaa this did make me chuckle. It had a certain bounce to it, a fast paced rhythm which made it enjoyable to read. One night, I know, you'll come right ...

Haha this was a sort of a reality check for me. I found myself whispering yes in agreement to pretty much all of what you said in your poem! So ...

Hey :) I agree with Nixie really, you just need to separate it into stanzas. Just because the different aspects of the poem will come across better if it's broken ...

Heeey :) The lines are quite punchy and this gives the meaning more impact. I'd just say write a bit more of it. Nice work, keep writing xXx

I like the theme "...Thou canst not see my face:for there shall no man see me, and live." and the concept of how you can't get rid of religion and ...

Oh it does have a chorus, the tune/melody is the same on these parts: Coz even this grey city Has more to offer me Than what you gave So I'm ...

Aww thankyou :) Ahaa glad you enjoyed it xXx

I'm not sure what you mean by "Grammar and Punctuation rules" but 'Cos and runnin' for example are slang terms used in rap and if they're punctuated properly as they ...

Hiya :) the story is pretty, it just lacks a certain rhythm to it. I think perhaps the syllable count doesn't quite slot in to together so maybe sing/say the ...

I really liked it! Like what was already said ^^^ it has a good rhythm to it which makes it easy to imagine the melody or at least parts of ...