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Re: The Princesses
Whoa. That's all I can say. This poem was fantastic. My favorite stanza was: Morning drags the round, white sun Up to kiss the frozen earth, To meet the hills ...
Jul 31, 2011 -
Re: The Fairer Side of the Sunset
I'm blown away. That's all I can say. The beginning; hilarious. Absolutely hysterical. The end was so sad... Such a sudden change of events. It completely threw me off guard. ...
Jul 27, 2011 -
Re: Sixteen
I love the detail in this! Are you going to continue the story?! Seriously, you should if you havn't already because I really want to read more. I don't recall ...
Jul 27, 2011 -
Re: Paper Bag
Thtat was... Very deoressing to put it lightly, but a very well written story. The only thing that confused me is: Who is Lisa? I don't know if it's just ...
Jul 27, 2011 -
Re: Miserably alive
I have nothing to complain about. The description of Megan's suicide was amazing. I could see the bathroom scene so clearly. I'm not usually one for romantic stories, but for ...
Jul 27, 2011 -
Re: Animal Freak- Part one
This is an amazing beginning to your story. There are some grammar things I noticed though. For starters, instead of repeating "old king" or "old village" over and over, try ...
Jul 26, 2011 -
Re: Return What's Mine
I have to agree with Skylar. The story did seem a bit rushed, but the description was pretty good. I think you need to add a little more detail about ...
Jul 26, 2011 -
Re: A walk with Jesus
Beautiful story. Absolutely amazing. The only thing I have to point out is whenever a new person speaks, you need to start a new paragraph. Other than that, I found ...
Jul 26, 2011 -
Re: No Rest for the Wicked- Chapter 1
Aw that as so sad! Unfortunately, this story is true for so many Americans. It was very well written and the description really helped me visualize the setting. I saw ...
Jul 17, 2011 -
Re: Night of Perfection
Absolutely beautiful. I'm lost for words to descibe this poem. I also think its great that, as a guy, you write poems because most guys don't, or they feel ashamed ...
Jul 17, 2011 -
Re: And so I write.
This poem hits home, you did an excellent job on it. I saw nothing that needs changing, it's perfect. I guess I can say that you and I are a ...
Jul 17, 2011 -
Re: Warriors: Gathering Storm
I think you have a great concept of the story line here, but there are a few things I suggest changing. You need to be more specific with the dialouge ...
Jul 16, 2011 -
Re: Warriors
The first thing I noticed is that there are no paragraphs. Whenever a new character starts speaking, that is a whole paragraph to itself. There are also a lot of ...
Jul 16, 2011 -
Re: Warriors: Plain and Simple
Hey, Stori! I'm a big fan of Warriors, just so you know, but that's not important right now :) I deffintely think you need to make the story longer, and ...
Jul 16, 2011 -
Re: The Definition of Hell
Deffinitely worth continuing! I love how Peter created his own pet, I think that was a clever idea. You captured the perfect attitude for the mom as well. It set ...
Jul 16, 2011
