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  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Princesses

    Whoa. That's all I can say. This poem was fantastic. My favorite stanza was: Morning drags the round, white sun Up to kiss the frozen earth, To meet the hills ...

    Jul 31, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Fairer Side of the Sunset

    I'm blown away. That's all I can say. The beginning; hilarious. Absolutely hysterical. The end was so sad... Such a sudden change of events. It completely threw me off guard. ...

    Jul 27, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Sixteen

    I love the detail in this! Are you going to continue the story?! Seriously, you should if you havn't already because I really want to read more. I don't recall ...

    Jul 27, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Paper Bag

    Thtat was... Very deoressing to put it lightly, but a very well written story. The only thing that confused me is: Who is Lisa? I don't know if it's just ...

    Jul 27, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Miserably alive

    I have nothing to complain about. The description of Megan's suicide was amazing. I could see the bathroom scene so clearly. I'm not usually one for romantic stories, but for ...

    Jul 27, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Animal Freak- Part one

    This is an amazing beginning to your story. There are some grammar things I noticed though. For starters, instead of repeating "old king" or "old village" over and over, try ...

    Jul 26, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Return What's Mine

    I have to agree with Skylar. The story did seem a bit rushed, but the description was pretty good. I think you need to add a little more detail about ...

    Jul 26, 2011
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: A walk with Jesus

    Beautiful story. Absolutely amazing. The only thing I have to point out is whenever a new person speaks, you need to start a new paragraph. Other than that, I found ...

    Jul 26, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: No Rest for the Wicked- Chapter 1

    Aw that as so sad! Unfortunately, this story is true for so many Americans. It was very well written and the description really helped me visualize the setting. I saw ...

    Jul 17, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Night of Perfection

    Absolutely beautiful. I'm lost for words to descibe this poem. I also think its great that, as a guy, you write poems because most guys don't, or they feel ashamed ...

    Jul 17, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: And so I write.

    This poem hits home, you did an excellent job on it. I saw nothing that needs changing, it's perfect. I guess I can say that you and I are a ...

    Jul 17, 2011
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: Warriors: Gathering Storm

    I think you have a great concept of the story line here, but there are a few things I suggest changing. You need to be more specific with the dialouge ...

    Jul 16, 2011
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: Warriors

    The first thing I noticed is that there are no paragraphs. Whenever a new character starts speaking, that is a whole paragraph to itself. There are also a lot of ...

    Jul 16, 2011
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: Warriors: Plain and Simple

    Hey, Stori! I'm a big fan of Warriors, just so you know, but that's not important right now :) I deffintely think you need to make the story longer, and ...

    Jul 16, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Definition of Hell

    Deffinitely worth continuing! I love how Peter created his own pet, I think that was a clever idea. You captured the perfect attitude for the mom as well. It set ...

    Jul 16, 2011


It doesn’t smell old, it just smells like a bad idea.
— James Hoffman