Spoiler! :
I
Cody rips open the packet of Marlborough’s and pulls one out. Lighting it, she sticks it in her mouth and inhales. The bitter smoke wafts between her lips and down her windpipe, then she breathes out and it snakes its way back out in a little puff, fading into the air.
Leaning back in the peeling faux-leather chair, Cody puts her hands behind her head and closes her eyes. The orangey-red of her eyelids blocks out her bed, with clothes strewn all over it. Opening them again, she sighs.
The cigarette is burning down. Removing another one from the package, she lights it from the end of the last, spitting the used one into a flower patterned tissue before the ash can fall on her. Taking a long draw from the new one, she examines her stock. There is only one packet after this one left. Heaving another great sigh, she pulls herself resentfully out of the chair.
Cody slams the front door so that it shuts despite the broken latch. She steps outside. It’s late summer and the New Jersey air is as muggy and humid as ever. She jogs nearly all the way to the park and by the time she gets there her blue and white I ♥ NY t-shirt is sticking to her stomach and underarms.
The swing sets and play-structure are deserted. Most of the swings have been broken off or else spray painted with obscenities and gang names. The play-structure is peeling, and has been vandalized as well. No children dare play in this park. Instead, a few teenagers lounge about, two on the swings and one on the slide.
“Hola Cody,” calls one of the boys on the swings as she walks by. Cody heads for where Paulo is sitting cross-legged at the top of a slide.
“¿Qué onda? Cody,” he says, “how ’bout a kiss?” Cody flashes him the finger.
“Okay, chica, just a joke.” Paulo is a pervert and a jerk but he sells cigarettes cheaper than most.
“Gimme ten,” Cody says brusquely, and tosses a wad of bills at him. Paulo throws a brown paper bag down and she counts out ten before leaving. Paulo is also a cheat. Walking back through the playground Cody remembers how many teenagers used to be there every day, at least ten as opposed to the three who remain. Back before they were all gone. Back before Madison was gone for good, before she bowed her head to avoid being noticed every time she saw Luke Rivas in the hallway. She still sees his eyes follow her sometimes, still sees the accusation and barely controlled anger in them. She never meets them.
Cody walks slowly home from the playground, thinking about Luke. She is terrified of him now, of course. Who wouldn’t be, if they’d been through what she’d been through with him? She recalls their first meeting, when she had been so star struck by his wanting to talk to her.
Her father had been beating her. Her mother worked the evening shift and was still at work, and he was drunk. They were both in her room and he was smashing his fist and the flat of his hand against her face repeatedly. It was a good thing she didn’t bruise easily, Cody thought ruefully. She knew she could take the pain, but it was her fear that others would notice if she went to school with two black eyes. She no longer struggled when he hurt her. She knew he would do it anyway, and the less she responded the sooner he seemed to tire of it.
Sometimes he shrieked obscenities at her while he beat her. Tonight his eyes were glassy and his jaw slack. His fists were slower than usual, each impact more of a dull thud than a blow. He had drunk a lot. She knew it was only a matter of time before he gave up on her, and was grateful for it. Eventually the blows subsided and he staggered off to the bathroom. Cody quickly got up and locked her door so he couldn’t come back in.
She took a look at her face in the dusty blue plastic hand-mirror on her dresser. It didn’t seem too bad. The bruises weren’t noticeable, at least not yet. She ran the comb through her hair and tied it in a ponytail with an orange hair-tie. Then she climbed quietly out of her window. It was much easier than going out the door and potentially running into him in the hallway. She didn’t want to stay in the house, not tonight. She’d come back when he was asleep. Cody dropped lightly onto the asphalt, brushing off her hands as she straightened.
“Hola,” said a masculine voice behind her. For a moment Cody thought wildly that her father must have seen her going outside and followed. Her fists jerked instinctively into a fighting position and her muscles tensed. Then she realized that the speaker was a boy, one she knew from school. They weren’t close friends, but they were part of the same friend group.
“Lev?”
“Cody.” His voice gave a silky quality to the syllables. “¿Quieres ir al cine conmigo?” “Do you want to go to the movies with me?”
Cody was confused. What had prompted this? It was eleven o’clock on a school night. But then again, why did it matter? She wanted more than anything to get away from her father, and here was the hottest mexicano in her school asking her on a date.
“What movie?”
“No sé.” he replied. He took her hand—his was large, warm and calloused—and led her away from the house. She knew her father wouldn’t miss her and her mother would assume she had gone to bed when she got home.
Lev drove them to the small local movie theater and paid the gum-chewing girl at the door for both tickets. The theatre was small but completely empty. They sat down near the back, still holding hands.
In retrospect, Cody didn’t remember what movie they had seen. What she did remember was the feeling of his big hands and his lips, on her hands, her face, his tongue inside her mouth. Exploring her collarbone with his lips, working his way up her neck to her jaw, her ear, her hairline.
His hands were gentle as they worked their way around her neck, down her back, tracing her shoulder blades. They moved with more urgency as he slid them around to the front, feeling the plane of her stomach, moving up and slipping them under her bra, pulling at her nipples which responded to his touch. Cody gave him free reign, too shocked and tired to protest even when he unbuttoned her jeans and slid his hands inside, gripping her thighs hard.
It was long past midnight when the movie was over and the gum-chewing girl interrupted them to tell them that the theater was closing. Cody was nearly asleep and Lev half-dragged her out of the building and into his car. When they pulled into her driveway Cody stumbled up to the front door, but then remembered that she was supposed to have been in her room. Lev had to boost her onto the roof so that she could climb back in through her window.
“I have something to show you tomorrow,” he said in his Spanish-touched English as she clambered into her room, “I’ll be back.”
Cody lay down on her bed, fully dressed, and dreamed of his tongue intertwined with hers.
When she woke the next morning Cody didn’t remember much from the night before. What little she did remember, though, was enough to make her breasts and stomach tingle. It was a Saturday so she took a shower, threw on a t-shirt and shorts, and left the house. Her father would have a headache this morning from the alcohol and be; if possible, even more savage. She didn’t want to hang around to bear the brunt of it.
Cody’s cell phone buzzed in her pocket. She saw that Lev had texted her. When did he get her number? Probably at some point during the movie while she wasn’t paying attention.
“Aparcar a hoy?”—“Park today?”
“Te veo que hay” she responded: “I’ll see you there” She walked to the park, the only one in town. She was surprised that he wanted to go to that park—it was pretty dilapidated. He was there when she arrived—and so were about ten Latinos from her school sitting around on swings and on the play structures. Some of the boys were smoking cigarettes and the largest of the girls was puffing away, too.
He kissed her on the mouth—their tongues connecting briefly—and then put his arm around her waist and led her over to the group.
“You guys know Cody,” he said, squeezing her waist. Some of them nodded at her. Lev introduced everyone to Cody. There were three Latinas: Kimberly, Eleda, and Allison, and seven boys: Lev, Felix, Paulo, Luis, Quinn, Arnold, and Matthew. Each of the girls seemed to be there because they were dating one of the guys. Allison and Arnold were entwined on one swing, Kimberly was sitting in Luis’ lap, and Eleda, who was too large to sit on anyone’s lap, was holding Felix’s hand. He didn’t seem to mind this arrangement, and kept leaning over and whispering in her ear or else kissing her on the cheek.
“This is my little gang,” he said to Cody, “and this is our hideout.”
“Hey Cody, want a cigarette?” said a slim, weasel-faced boy who was holding a bulging brown paper bag, “I’ll give you the first pack for free.”
He tossed a pack at her before she could respond and she caught it deftly.
“I don’t smoke—” she started to say, but Lev said “I got it,” and pulled out a small red BIC lighter.
Cody reluctantly tore open the package and pulled out one. Lev lit it for her. The whole group was watching. Cody figured the best way to earn their respect was to take the damn thing. She stuck it in her mouth, inhaled, and started coughing, eyes streaming, throat burning. Fat Eleda chuckled and whispered something to Felix. Lev patted Cody on the back.
“Smaller breaths to start with, Cariño.”
Ignoring the skepticism of the group, Cody put it back in her mouth and took a small sip of a breath. It was more bearable this time. On her third puff Lev caught her up with the smoke in her mouth and kissed her, breathing in her exhalation. She finished the cigarette and Lev showed her how to light a fresh one from the end of the first.
This time she did not breathe in but merely allowed the smoke into her mouth, and it wasn’t so bad. The gang seemed impressed that Cody had toughed up so quickly. They were no longer smirking, anyway. Paulo was even smiling, but Cody wasn’t sure if that was because he accepted her or because he realized that she was a potential new customer for his drug sales.
“So is she in?” asked the pretty Kimberly while Luis stroked her too-red-to-be-real hair, “doesn’t she have to do something first?”
“Let’s haze her!” said Felix enthusiastically and Eleda giggled. Lev glared at him, but the gang seemed to be in consensus. They wanted Cody to prove her loyalty by more than just a few cigarettes.
“Give her a job,” suggested weedy Matthew. The gang nodded in consent at this. Lev looked angry. Cody put her hand in his and squeezed it.
“It’s fine,” she whispered in his ear and his mouth searched for hers again. She wasn’t sure she wanted to do whatever they were thinking of, but she also wanted to gain acceptance.
“We gotta talk about it without her here,” said Arnold slowly. Cody quickly got up to leave, and Lev stood up too.
“I should stay here,” he said, “make sure they don’t come up with anything too bad.”
“Sure,” she replied. His lips locked around hers and he jerked her to his chest. Eventually Paulo coughed softly and they parted. Cody turned to go as Lev threw a punch at Paulo. A dull thud and the sound of Paulo’s obscenities carried after her down the road.
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