I have wanted to post this for quite some time now, but I never really knew if I should. This is for the CIA contest.
I CANNOT ACCEPT GRAMMAR REVISIONS. THIS IS PURELY FOR THE PLOT AND CHARACTERS, AND ANY OTHER STUFF THAT THIS NEEDS. Knowing that, however, I cannot submit an edited version for the contest. Sure, it'll make the story better, but I cannot accept any grammar revisions.
Thank you.
Night Terrors:
This story is out of my comfort zone. It is experimental, and hopefully I've been able to pull it off. I am posting this in the Advanced Critiques purely because of the formatting. This story needs to have this special formatting in order to get the correct emotions across. This story revolves around you. Yes, you. You are the MC. You are a father of two (Joan and Troy) and you are married to a lovely wife, Lynn. Joan, one night, approaches you with the all-too-heard phrase, "Daddy, there's a monster under my bed."
And then the horrors begin.
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I dunno how long this is going to be. It might be thirty pages, it might be fifty. All I know is that this is my best written story yet. I'm going to include chapters 1 - 4 in the attachment below. Please feel free to critique them to your heart's desires. I want this to be the greatest it can be.
Again, please do not include grammar revisions. Thank you.
Gender:
Points: 7740
Reviews: 713