It is as good as the last one, though I feel the sentances drag on a little in this. Like I said before, I think you should break it up a bit to make it easier for us to read. Plus, it makes it look nicer. Honestly, try it. Another pointer;
A tall, slim, bearded robbed man sat alone at a corner table, deep in the back.
wow, this section was great, that guy reminds me a whole lot like van helsing; have you seen the movie, it's awsome. were di you get this idea, because it rocks. it is stilll very well paced, and very well written, great job. i am eagerly awating Part 3!!!
yes, i kinda picture Ricirik as having a van helsing type look and between that and the Leadslinger concept if this book ever got published a lot of people would think it was a rip off. Leadlsingers is a lot like gunslingers from stephen kings books, Ricirik is like Ridik (or however u spell it) and the main guy is like van helsing. And the Whole thing is kinda like the story of the jedi, least it could go that way. The unbelievable thing is though, i didnt mean to rip so much stuff off. honestly. woops.
even if you do take all of that stuff from different stories/books, and eventually it wont seem like any of those, itle just be one entirely new situation.
In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of
worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to
eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort. — JRR Tolkien
