Balliant beauty

Hi. This my first attempt at writing using Elizabethan language. Tell me what you think.

O briny queen! O balliant lady!
My cup of luck! It doth brim with plenty
that I may gaze upon thy dorphal excellence,
beauty enough to make Poseidon envy.

To claim I lie is to forfeit sense,
and a callow existence it doth mirror.
For even the kiss of Williams summer day
cannot compete with thy dazz’ling spendour.

The Breezy cloak of Boreas
doth engulf thee in its gusty embrace
and fill thy mighty, glamoured gown
as thou ridest thy salty savage steed.

The fickle waves do leap in earnest
to plant their frothy, wisped kiss
upon thy slender wooded breast
yet thou brushest them by and travel past.

O noble queen! O divine lady
My humble heart! It doth quiver joyous
For your presence banish all infernal
and thou shalt grace the sea eternal.

Spoiler

I was kind of aiming for this poem to be hard to understand and for the subject matter to be unclear as to whether I am describing a woman or a ship. It is describing a ship though. Let me know if I acheived my aim.
By the way, both balliant and dorphal are made up words I have invented. Balliant means radiant and magnificent. Dorphal means beautiful but can only be used in an aquatic context e.g. to describe boats, fish, waves. Wisped is pronounced wisp-ed.

Hey! Wow. I really enjoyed reading this. I just finished Macbeth so I was in an Elizabethan mood. Hehehe.

Anyway, I liked that you made it uncertain weather you are talking about a woman or a ship. I thought you gave enough clues for us to figure out it was a ship, though. What first tipped me off was the reference to Poseidon, the Greek god of the water. My favorite stanza was this:

The Breezy cloak of Boreas
doth engulf thee in its gusty embrace
and fill thy mighty, glamoured gown
as thou ridest thy salty savage steed.

It was very smart of you to incorporate the stars into this. So great! At first when I read 'salty savage steed', I was like, Salty? Really? I don't understand!!! But it made so much more sense once I realized it was a ship.

I loved the ending, I really did. I had a nitpick, though.

O noble queen! O divine lady

I think you need some kind of punctuation after divine lady.
So I loved this. It was excellent. A title for this may be tricky because you don't want to imply that it is a ship or a woman. Maybe reference something about a sailor in you title. Never stop writing!

I cannot find anything wrong with this. My only suggestions would be for titles. You could choose things from the poem, like divine lady, or make up something that gives a hint as to what it explains, like my queenship. Overall there's nothing wrong with this is the title.

OK this is really great regarding use of Elizabethan language. There are some things from my opinion that you could improve on:

to plant their frothy, wisped kiss

this could also be "to plant their frothy, wisped kisses. Add an s at the end. I could totally change the suspense in the poem.Also

and thou shalt grace the sea eternal.

it could be something like: "and thou shalt make thy grace at sea eternal." the way you wrote it makes it seam a little like you came back to modern English in the last sentence