That I may become a stronger man;
That always seemed to be the plan,
to shed my fear, and shed my skin,
to come alive, and die within.
For that which I am can no longer be;
The weakest and most fragile part of me
will crumble and fade, and turn to dust,
in the unfeeling haze of my rebirth.
And I will be colder and nothing but true;
I'll never have remorse, no regrets of you,
nor show emotions, nor show any pain;
There'll be no space for love in this petty brain.
That I may become that stronger man;
That I will become that hardened man,
and never be hurt, with his shield at home,
forever so cautious - forever alone.
That I may say to that stronger man;
I plead cowardice.
That always seemed to be the plan,
to shed my fear, and shed my skin,
to come alive, and die within.
For that which I am can no longer be;
The weakest and most fragile part of me
will crumble and fade, and turn to dust,
in the unfeeling haze of my rebirth.
And I will be colder and nothing but true;
I'll never have remorse, no regrets of you,
nor show emotions, nor show any pain;
There'll be no space for love in this petty brain.
That I may become that stronger man;
That I will become that hardened man,
and never be hurt, with his shield at home,
forever so cautious - forever alone.
That I may say to that stronger man;
I plead cowardice.
-----
Please don't waste my time with one sentence reviews, just for a few extra points. It's not good practice.
) but you manage to dodge the common issues easily in this poem. It isn't sing-songy or maudlin, not torn down by the rhyme scheme but instead building up on it. My one complaint comes here: 