To fly away.

I feel like it suffocates you whole, with little warning.
I hate talking about this because it’s terribly cliché.
As much as I try to push it away; it comes back some days.
After she left, I’ve been mourning every morning.

You need to get a grip.
You’re young.
You really shouldn’t be so strung.
You’ll have bigger problems that will come.

I’ve heard these lines from so many people.
And I know myself pity needs to stop.
I’m the farmer with no harvest to crop.
I look up to the top of my church, and picture myself standing at the steeple.

From up here everyone is a blur.
From up here I feel like my depression can’t reach.
From up here I can’t see her face insuring my heart won’t skip out of place.
From up here I’m eye level with the birds, and they tell me to join them.

I step forward, and stretch my arms out.

Spoiler

Rough brain storm draft. I'll take it back to the lab soon.

I feel like it suffocates you whole, with little warning.
I hate talking about this because it’s terribly cliché.
As much as I try to push it away; it comes back some days.
After she left, I’ve been mourning every morning.

You need to get a grip.
You’re young.
You really shouldn’t be so strungstrong.
You’ll have bigger problems that will come.

I’ve heard these lines from so many people.
And I know myself pity needs to stop.
I’m the farmer with no harvest to crop.
I look up to the top of my church, and picture myself standing at the steeple.

From up here everyone is a blur. (Here I would pull "everyone is" together, it makes the rhythm more flowy)
From up here I feel like my depression can’t reach.
From up here I can’t see her face insuring my heart won’t skip out of place.
From up here I’m eye level with the birds, and they tell me to join them.

I step forward, and stretch my arms out.

I can see what you're trying to do with this poem, what feeling you're trying to portray. But I don't really feel it.
Try putting some more feeling into this, because right now it just feels like a shell, try to fill it with emotion and you will have a beautiful poem.

Otherwise it's good!

So keep writing, and this will be great!

I liked this. good job overall. I think it could use some touching up though because it's kind of vague and a little bland. I got the general impression of it but it was kind of random in some areas and that might have been your intention but try boosting your idea up with some emotion or feelings of some sort. Also don't force the ryhmes because all poetry doesn't have to ryhme. When you force it though it allows for a confusion or diversion from the main idea of your poem so try letting it flow right from your brain to the screen.

AuthorOfMyLife wrote:You need to get a grip.
You’re young.
You really shouldn’t be so strung

This particular part stuck me as forced and not exactly connected with the main topic you know. But not bad man i think you did a good job i encourage you to keep it up.

Hey Atticus.

Good poem you got there but I guess the title isn't much related to poem, though. :S
Sorry to say that. >.<

Just tiny mistakes which you don't need to worry so much but, must use them.

AtticusGallows wrote:I feel like it suffocates you whole, with little warning.
I hate talking about this because it’s terribly cliché.
As much as I try to push it away; it comes back some days.
After she left, I’ve been mourning every morning.

This stanza was a little bit confusing. Who is she?
Your love, your sister or whoever. I think you must mention it.

AtticusGallows wrote:"You need to get a grip.
You’re young.
You really shouldn’t be so strung.
You’ll have bigger problems that will come."

Do put the quotations so it's simpler to know.

AtticusGallows wrote:I’ve heard these lines from so many people.
And I know myself pity needs to stop.
I’m the farmer with no harvest to crop.
I look up to the top of my church, and picture myself standing at the steeple. <Woah! This line is too big.

AtticusGallows wrote:From up here, everyone is a blur.
From up here, I feel like my depression can’t reach.
From up here, I can’t see her face insuring my heart won’t skip out of place.
From up here, I’m eye level with the birds, and they tell me to join them.

I step forward, and stretch my arms out. < This line is not really suitable for the poem.

The last two lines of the stanza is too long. I think you should shorten it. =)

Anyway. It was a good poem. I didn't get bored or anything. The rhythm was fine. ^.^
Just a few mistakes which has been clarified. xD

Overall: Very good. 8/10.

Cheers,
Cookie. x)