So, not to get all personal (well I suppose posting this in the first place is making it personal) but this is based on true thoughts, feelings, and (near) actions. But I am healthy now, so enjoy.
I've cried myself to sleep since five
Where I had no control at
Fantasized of death since ten
But you didn't need to know that
Professed my hate so many times
But only meant it in my head
Clenched a knife up to my wrist
But couldn't bear to see the red
Sweet Russia called on out to me and held a warm embrace
But upon this act I spat her out, for bitter was the taste
Small blue tubes wiggled around the bruised palm of my hand
But choke them down I couldn't
Ropes and wire I lifted up
But wring my neck they wouldn't
Drafting somber letters encompassed my thoughts
But as soon as I held paper, blank is what they brought
I've bordered busy streets from the harbor of my sidewalk
But as soon as I intend to leap my neighbor starts to talk
Family never crosses mind
But never I forget them
Earthly friendships I claim meaningless
But to this gut says "ahem"
Start shoot across the sky as night sets in its fear
I sit upon my window ledge wondering why I'm here
I stood upon the rotten wood, my hand fastened to the wall
But a though popped in, and i decided that the cement couldn't break my fall
