Serpent's Teeth [4]

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FOUR


Lenore died the same night. I was downstairs in the cold drawing room, sitting at the piano, turning through the unused sheets of music. A maid had come in and lit the candles, but this only created more shadows that lurked in the heavy folds of the curtains and crawled across the floor whenever a draft fluttered the candle flames. When I touched the piano keys, it sent tiny chills running down my spine and I could feel the draft whispering down the back of my collar. I wrapped my arms around myself miserably.

There was a faint noise from upstairs. Running feet. Then Lord Deveraux’s voice, raised but indistinct. I debated whether to investigate or stay where I was, but then I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and a moment later Lord Deveraux stood in the doorway. His face was white like marble. ‘Get your hat and coat,’ he said.

I stood up. ‘What about—’

‘She’s dead.’ His voice was flat, but the black fire was back in his eyes. ‘Mr Frankenstein, I believe this is when you prove your worth.’

* * *
The linen-wrapped body came back with me in the Deveraux coach. Lord Deveraux held it in his arms, a white-wrapped cocoon that seemed unnaturally small considering its contents. It reminded me of the illustrations I had seen of the mummies of ancient Egypt. The image did nothing to quell the churning in my guts.

‘My lord,’ I began.

He glared at me. ‘Yes?’

I found I had forgotten what I had planned to say. He turned away from me and held the body closer to him. The black rain hurled itself against the coach windows like gravel flung from an unseen hand.

‘My lord?’

‘Yes, Mr Frankenstein.’

‘My lord, where—where is my lady Deveraux?’

‘Lady Deveraux will not witness the process.’

‘My lord, I don’t think you should either.’

‘What?’ He glared at me. ‘Are you mad, man? Of course I will oversee everything.’

‘I really don’t think that is a good idea.’

‘Why not, pray?’

‘Well...’ I shuffled uncomfortably on the coach seat. ‘Maybe if I explain some of the process to you...’

‘I am not interested in the technicalities, Mr Frankenstein.’

‘First,’ I said doggedly, ‘I will make an incision—I will cut your daughter open from the breastbone down to—’

‘I do not want to hear this!’ he shouted.

‘To remove the organs,’ I babbled, feeling as though I were in the middle of a hideous nightmare and the only way out was forward, ‘and replace them with the fresh ones collected from the other corpses and kept in ice for this purpose. Another incision across her scalp to prepare the brain for connection to the—’

‘No!’

I faltered. There were tears in his eyes, but he still glared at me, pressing the body tight against his chest.

‘That is the process,’ I said, trying to sound gentle. ‘If you stay, that’s what you will see. Can you do that without interfering?’

A tear ran down the inside of his nose, but he just carried on glaring at me, too proud to acknowledge it. ‘I just want her back. My wife...’

‘And you will get her back, you will. I promise you you’ll get her back, but I don’t think you should watch. I think you should let me get on with it, and I’ll send word to you when it’s over.’

‘When you’ve brought her back.’

‘Yes. When I’ve brought her back.’

He sank back against the seat. He tucked the body close against him and didn’t speak again until the coach pulled up outside my house. I held out my arms. ‘Let me take it.’

His jaw clenched, but after a moment he leaned over and placed the body in my arms. ‘Be careful,’ he said. ‘Watch her head.’

I shifted the body closer and stepped out of the coach. The wind hit me in the face with a burst of rain and for a moment I was blinded. Then I saw the porch lantern, and the glowing circle of yellow light it made in the darkness, and I headed towards it.

‘Mr Frankenstein!’ Lord Deveraux was leaning out of the coach, the rain glittering on his face like melting diamonds. ‘Mr Frankenstein!’

‘Go home,’ I shouted over the wind. ‘It’ll be fine. I’ll send word.’

For a moment he still hung there, half in, half out, before retreating back inside the coach. I rapped on the door, hearing the coach clatter away behind me before Kettlesing let me in. The rain seemed to have seeped through my coat into my bones; I was cold all over, Lenore’s wasted body a deadweight in my arms. There was rain dribbling out of my hair into my eyes and my fingers felt brittle.

‘You got her, then.’ Kettlesing was holding out a towel. He began dabbing at my coat, but I shrugged him away. He held out his arms. ‘Let me hold her while you take off your coat.’

I shook my head and pushing past him, headed down to my workshop. Kettlesing had lit all the lamps and scrubbed down the table and bought the bodies in from the ice-house.

‘Thank you,’ I said.

‘Uh?’

‘For preparing in here.’

He shrugged. I laid the body down on the table, took off my coat and hat and hung them on one of the hooks on the wall. Then I turned back to the body and started to unwind the white wrappings.

When the last strip fell away, Kettlesing gave a low whistle. ‘Sweet Lord’a Mercy. No wonder she’s dead. She looks like someone folded her out of paper.’

I’d been trying not to think of the body as Lenore’s, just as a piece of flesh that I had to work with, but laid bare like this, I couldn’t tell myself that any longer. That was Lenore’s face, these were Lenore’s fingers; fingers that I’d touched this very day when she was still alive. Her white lips, the hollows under the sharp ridges of her cheekbones, the blue tracery of veins on her closed eyelids.

‘I can’t do this.’

‘What?’ Kettlesing stared at me. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I can’t do this.’ I dragged my hands through my hair. My stomach was twisting so painfully I could barely stand upright. ‘I told Lord Deveraux that I could do it but I can’t, I just can’t. This isn’t how I work, I never use a whole body, it’s not right, it won’t work, and this—this isn’t flesh, this is Lenore, she’s a person and that’s not how it works, I make people, but I make new people, I don’t make people who were people already before I came along. It’s not going to work. I’ll have to tell Lord Deveraux that it won’t work, I won’t do it, and then he’ll tell everyone about Ingolstadt and—’

‘Victor, get a grip!’ Kettlesing grabbed my arm and held it painfully tight. ‘Hysterics aren’t going to help anyone. Not you or Lenore or me, y’understand? Just calm down, take a breath and think.’ He shoved me down onto the chair and leaned down, pushed his face into mine. ‘You’re going to do this, because if you don’t you’ll never get any work ever again, and your work is your life. You know that and I know that and that’s why you’re doing this. You know I don’t want to know about what happened in Ingolstadt, so don’t think that now is the time for confessions either, because it isn’t.’ He was uncomfortably close, his nose almost touching mine. I could smell whiskey on his breath. ‘Now. You’re going to get a grip and you’re going to go and you’re going to cut that little girl open and you’re going to bring her back because there’s not a chance in hell that you made me steal two dead children for nothing.’

‘My hands are shaking,’ I whispered.

Sour whiskey breath in my face. ‘Then warm them over the lamp.’

I swallowed and stood up. Deep breath. Lenore’s body on the table. No, don’t think of it like that. Flesh on the table. Raw materials. Flesh.

* * *


The next six hours passed in a blur. I remember making the first incision and opening up the white skin to expose the still-warm heart and diseased lungs. I remember the buckets of ice-packed intestines and the way the pancreas slipped in my hands as I fitted it into the abdomen. Sawing off the top of the skull; and the hum and crackle of the dynamo as I inserted the wires into the brain matter. Injecting the heart with the solution of digitalis and working it between my palms, massaging it into movement.

Kettlesing was there the whole time, threading the needles when my hands were too bloody to hold the catgut, handing me a clean scalpel when I needed it, steadying the bucket when I replaced the ruined lungs with fresh ones. I looked up once and saw his breath smoking in the air, and for a moment I was completely confused, aware only of the sweat pouring down my back and beading on my upper lip.

The hair hung down from the top of the skull like some grotesque piece of cut turf growing long dead grasses. Grasses in a graveyard. Grasses on the blue mountains where the pink anemones grow. The face sunken like a crushed mould.

My hands were deep inside the body, inside the tiny ribcage, closed around the heart, and the world withered away until that was all I was aware of, all I could think of; my palms compressing and releasing, forcing the stimulant around it and out through the ventricles, coercing it throughout the entire body until finally it jerked to life between my hands. I saw the passages constrict and dilate as they filled with blood, the organs glistening as the new life poured through them.

There was a needle in my hand, but I didn't remember Kettlesing giving it to me. I closed up the chest cavity, and all the while the body was starting to life under my hands. I could feel the quickening of the new blood, the creak of the bones as the new lungs filled with air, the pulsing of the brain as I disconnected the dynamo and made the suture along the scalp.

‘Victor?’

It took me a moment to recognise Kettlesing. His lips were grey and there was blood on his hands.

‘Victor,’ he said again. ‘Is it—are you finished?’

I couldn't speak. I licked my lips, tasted blood, and swallowed. ‘Yes,’ I said hoarsely. ‘Just need to clean the body. Tansy...’ My voice cracked and came out several octaves higher than normal. ‘Tansy paste to help seal the sutures. Need to apply it. After cleaning.’

The bucket of water was so heavy I feared I would drop it. Kettlesing took another cloth and together we sponged down the body, cleaning and salving the suture lines.

‘Victor.’

‘Yes.’

‘She’s not awake.’

‘She’s breathing.’

‘But she’s not awake.’

‘She will be.’

‘When?’

‘Soon.’

Kettlesing dropped his cloth into the bucket of soiled water. The splash it made sounded profanely loud. He took down one of the sheets from the shelf, unfolded it, and carefully spread it over the body. It looked incredibly small.

‘Victor.’

‘Yes.’

‘Are you all right?’

‘What?’

He looked at the body. ‘I feel like I’m going to puke.’

‘There’s a clean bucket by the door.’

‘Victor, are you all right?’

I looked down at my hands, my arms. They were red with blood up to my elbows. ‘Yes, of course,’ I said finally, taking off my goggles. ‘I’m fine.’
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this. We have you." -Abed Nadir




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Brilliance.

This was sheer godly awesomeness wrapped up into one horrifyingly morbid, intensely awesome chapter of... well, awesome proportions. I feel that this is what you were just itching to write. The moment in which you could create life, hypothetically and in actuality as you sculpted life with your words.

Your descriptions were clean and neat. The emotion was nice as well seeing as Frankenstein would be a but numb after something as traumatizing as what has just occurred. You left quite the hanger on this one as well so we're dropped, merely waiting for that moment when we get to see what happens next. This chapter, out of all your chapters, takes the cake for being absolutely fantastic.

Unfortunately, I still stand by my previous statement about Kettlesing. Not so much here because there was some good descriptions, and good sections to this that made Kettlesing to play out as a horribly underachieving sort of persona. At the same time, though, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that kettlesing is merely a grave-digger. That he can't be something more than that, like a fellow scientist, per say, or even a close friend of the scholarly variety. The fact that he's a grave-digger just doesn't seem to click at all well.

I'm honestly torn right now, with that one.

In any case, this was great. I loved the fact that it felt so... dark, and really 1800's. Reminds me of something out of Sweeney Todd or something, which I hadn't expected by the title. In fact, I'm quite curious as to how that title fits into all of this, if it does. Is it just a place-holder, maybe? In any case, it definitely doesn't come close to giving this book the attention it deserves.

So my big critique? Make every chapter this awesome. This intriguing. Make your character strong and the people in which he interacts with, also strong. I want to see you writing with this much strength more often because now I know you can. Harness this. Harness that strength and you'll find yourself writing things beyond what you expected you could.

Fantastic. Really, I'm quite pleased. Even my crusher mode is swooning.

~Walker
Suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads, that the heart has been chained and dunked in a glass booth filled with river water. The heart is monologuing about hesitation and fulfillment while behind the red brocade the heart is drowning. - R.S




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Why hello there...

See, this is where a bit more of the exploration behind why he is so hung up on Lenore would have been nice (also, bee tee dubs, is Lenore's name a reference to the Poe poem? I totes just noticed that...), like, why he views her as an actual person. His interest and emotional dilemma still seem to have come out of nowhere.

I make people, but I make new people, I don’t make people who were people already before I came along.

This. I want to see more of this explored. I figure this is why he's been so edgy around Lenore and her family and uneasy about this whole thing? I want to see more of this mindset from the beginning, that this is what is bothering him (if indeed it is). Before, we were getting more of the technical objections from him as opposed to the moral ones. And no, his morals don't have to be the same as ours. But if there is this kind of objection, the objection to actually making this kind of procedure as opposed to something else on whatever moral scale he has set out for himself, I want to see it earlier on. And, again, why was Lenore specifically the one to bring it up? I mean, he could have had that objection still without seeing her as a person. I mean, he could make that argument completely impersonally. So why is Lenore the one that stands out for him?

I gather that Justine doesn't know exactly what he does? Or did he just not want to expose her to a dead body? Why not? I mean, I get that some of this is probably because his work is somewhat illegal/immoral/etc. but why is it that Justine is not in the know while Kettlesing is? It seems to me that he'd want his help to be in the know and on board so that they didn't go screaming the police if they happened to find something incriminating. I just wanna know more about this relationship, working or otherwise.

Also, Kettlesing. I was a bit confused as to why he was there to help. I mean, I had thought that he hadn't done this before and when he mentions wanting to throw up, that impression stuck, but he seemed to be so calm and efficient about it all. What is his backstory? How did that relationship start out and continue?

But I loved this chapter. So quick and efficient and sparse, and yet the details that you chose to linger on... Gah, so amazing. Really, taken just as itself, without any of my objections and comments carried over from the earlier chapters, this piece is amazing. It carries emotional weight like nobody's business and strikes just the right amount of chill. Awesome.

Me likies mucho. Yes indeed.

Once again, let me know if you have any questions or comments!

~Gryph
I am reminded of the babe by you.




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Hey there! I'm here to review this chapter.

Sorry for being kind of late. Anyway, again I enjoyed this chapter. I actually really enjoy the personality you bring out of Frankenstein. He's still an interesting character and has a good amount of passion and he's sort of...soft, in a sense which is another interesting quality he has.

This chapter itself was in epic proportions too. The scene was amazing and beguiling, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen until I was finished and that's when I frowned. I seriously wanted to keep reading so good job for drowning me. ^^)b

If we're talking positive, I'll add that I love your description in this chapter. You use different, new ways of describing emotion such as tears making it's way in the lord's nose and the image we get from that is different, new and fresh and somehow I see things a lot more clearly. Odd, I know but I can never not tell you that I love it. =D

And like Dreamwalker, I support her on the topic of Kettlesing. Yes, you're giving us little glimpses of him in the chapters and you might not want to divulge him too much because he's not exactly the most important character but I feel like we should know more about the relationship between the two of them. However, being a fellow novel writer I'm certain that you'll do that in due time and in the right moment and setting. With the time frame between each chapter's posting, I continuously forget that I'm reading short chapters. We've only just grazed the beginning and I'm sure there is much more depth to this that will emerge in the future chapters. Don't worry, I'm in for the ride!

Overall, this is a great beginning and I'm looking forward to what you'll present to us next and how Lenore will be once she awakes - if she does, that is and what personality she'll have, what Frankenstein will think and if her views will change more drastically than they already did in this chapter. He's blooming, we can see it clearly and still, there's more for him to learn.

This was a great chapter and let me know if you post more!
I'll most definietly read it, just might be a little late. ^^

-Shear
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
-W. Somerset Maugham




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And PS thought that she was late....

Anyway, this was a great chapter, like everyone else said. The dissection (if it can be called that) process was infinitely vivid, the imagery and emotion (or lack thereof, perhaps) was in a word eerie, and was indisputably the main factor that caused the chapter to stand out among the ones beside it.

I could simply tell you to make every chapter like this, but not only would that be impossibly difficult, but I think it would be something of an unreasonable request. It would be commensurate to finding a sentence or, to stretch the analogy, a certain set of words that is particularly striking, and telling the writer to make every sentence/set of words to be just as good. An inconceivable feat, needless to say. But suppose the author was to accomplish it. Would the piece of writing still be as good? That's debatable. But in the interest of staying relevant, I'll save exploring that idea for another time. >.>

One thing I really do want to mention, and have been for a little while now, is that your story is incredibly dialogue-centered. To be perfectly honest, I don't know why. This chapter proves that you are capable of magnificent imagery, which is something I should have been seeing waaay earlier. A lot of the time I'm unaware of the setting, because you seem to accord such little importance to it, and then you might say something like "and then he stepped out of the coach" and I'm like, "What's going on?"

Another reason I'm bringing this up is that the copiousness of your dialogue gets really tiring after a while. You never give the reader a respite, a time when they can walk with the narrator while he describes the scenery, or elaborates his thoughts (the latter being next to nonexistent in your story). But he is constantly, constantly talking, and frankly, it wearies me.

Especially since half the time, people are just repeating the exact same thing. I don't know how many times someone's asked Victor if he was all right, or commented that he didn't appear all right, throughout the story. Not to mention that critique I mentioned in last chapter's review about how everyone is incessantly reiterating about the "face not flesh" deal.

Oh, and post the next chapter. Now.

-Kafka
#TNT

WRFF



I drink tea and forget the world's noises.
— Chinese saying