Demon of the sea:Chapter 8

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The last thing Valarie remembered was lying awake in the darkness as Taylor slept on the floor below her. But in the end, she surrendered to oblivion.
The sun had just begun to set as Lavena awoke, rubbing her aching head. Mother had left earlier that day, saying that they needed more supplies from the market. She was lying, as she always was recently. She wouldn’t go to the market without Lavena. She was doing something else, something she didn’t want her daughter to see.
With a sigh, Lavena walked out onto the balcony, feeling the cool wind as it ran through her hair, carrying with it the scent of salt water and earth. The only sound was the crash of the waves against the shore. Lavena closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy the peace. And when she opened them, she spotted something, someone, in the water. A flash of red hot fear went through her body; she’d seen that young man before. He filled her dreams, a distant memory just out of reach. The man with blue eyes.
Valarie awoke with a start, gasping for air. It felt as if she hadn’t taken a single breath all night. A sheen of sweat covered her skin, and the sheets were all kicked off of her and hanging off the foot of the bed.
“Taylor?" She gasped. But, after looking over the side of the bed, she found her friends cot empty. Valarie sat up, running her shaking fingers through her hair.
What had just happened?
Standing and walking into the bathroom, Valarie splashed cold water onto her face, propping herself against the cool marble counter top and staring at her reflection in the mirror. The girl that looked back was mahogany skinned, with a warm smile and bright eyes. She’d been raised by her mother in Colorado. And yet…
In the dream, she’d been someone completely different. The girl in the dream had grown up by the ocean. She had light brown hair that fell in loose curls to her waist and big green eyes. How Valarie knew this, she had no idea. But she was sure of one thing. She felt connected to that girl in a way she’d never felt connected to anyone.
Valarie pushed all thoughts of her strange dream from her mind, turning and walking to the kitchen where she was greeted by a a sleepy Taylor and an over enthusiastic Linette and Amy.
“Good morning!” Linette greeted with a bright smile. Valarie smiled back, grabbing a cup of coffee and moving to sit down beside Taylor.
“Morning.” She mumbled softly. Taylor turned to Valarie, her face comically void of all emotion.
“You left me to deal with this all morning.” She grumbled. Amy laughed, walking over and setting two plates of blueberry pancakes down in front of them. Valarie’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Thank you!” Amy gave her a sassy smile, putting her hand on her hip.
“Don’t get used to it.” She joked, spinning and turning back to her mother. Valarie turned to look at Taylor, who seemed just as surprised as she was.
“I never would have thought…” Taylor said, shaking her head. Valarie smile.
“I know exactly what you mean.” And with that, she dug into her breakfast. The room was filled with a comfortable silence, the sound of bacon frying and pans grinding against the stove top.
A family. This is where I belong.
And then Valarie’s dad came in.
“Linette. It’s happened again.” That’s all he needed to say. Linette was out the door before Valarie could do so much as blink.
“What was that about?” Amy asked through a mouthful of bacon.
“I don’t know.” Valarie replied, only partially truthful. She placed the last bite of pancakes in her mouth, then pushed herself away from the table, with Taylor following suite. Valarie headed back to her room, closing the door.
“So, what’s your plan?” her friend asked once they were out of earshot.
“Well, first, we need to get dressed.” Taylor glanced down at her oversized T-shirt, then looked back up at Valarie.
“What? Is this to sexy for you?” she posed, making Valarie laugh.
“Well…” Taylor flew a pillow at her. Valarie ducked to the side, just missing the feathery missile.
“Fine, but you’re going to have to wait a moment. This girl may be able to look good in anything, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to look good in everything.” Taylor grabbed her bag and strode into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Valarie stood there, contemplating what her friend had just said. She came to a conclusion.
“You know Taylor. That makes absolutely no sense at all.”
Valarie stood at the door, waiting for Taylor.
How long does it take to slip in to some clothes?
Valarie had just grabbed the first things she’d seen in her bag: a violet sleeveless baby doll and a pair of white capris. Taylor, on the other hand, appeared to be going through her entire closet.
“Alright. Now what do you want to do.” Valarie jumped at the sound of her friends voice, turning to see Taylor walking up in a lose white summer dress.
“It took you that long to put on that?” Valarie demanded in annoyance. Taylor smiled keenly, running her fingers over the skirt and twirling.
“You like it?”
“Yes, but…”
“Vee, you should really stop changing the subject. We’re on a mission here.” Valarie sighed. She could never win.
“Fine. Next, we go to the public library and find out what in the world has been going on in this town.”
“Will we meet cute guys?”
“Maybe at lunch. I know this really nice café…” Taylor put her hand up, already moving towards the door. She pulled down her huge sunglasses over her eyes, a sly smile playing on her lips.
“Time to investigate.”
Last edited by FadingBrighter on Sat Sep 03, 2011 6:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.
“Omnia mutantur, nihil interit (everything changes, nothing perishes).”
― Ovid, Metamorphoses




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Hello to all of you, who were probably dying to read the rest of the story...=) Im so sorry! After school started I had no time to wright! So I hope you enjoy what I have gotten done: Chapters 7 and 8. Chapter 9 will be close behind!
“Omnia mutantur, nihil interit (everything changes, nothing perishes).”
― Ovid, Metamorphoses




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This is really good, and I'm excited to see if anything more happens with the Lavena bit. There are only a few typos that I caught that you should probably know about.

The sun had just begun to set as Lavena awoke, rubbing her acheing head.

Acheing should be aching here.

“I don’t know.” Valarie replied, only partially truth ful.

Truth ful should be one word; truthful.

Valarie had just grabbed the first things she’d sen seen in her bag: a violet sleeveless baby doll and a pair of white capris.


Other than that, great work!
"I have always imagined that Paradise will be some kind of liberty."
~Jorge Luis Borges




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It's really well written. The dialogue is on point and you keep the reading interested. First when it comes to the flashback I think that you should make some type of indication that it's a dream such as italizing it or putting huge spaces around it. Also, what I don't like is that its short :'( I think that you could farther with this chapter but it's your thing but still. It could just be me because I'm addicted but don't be afraid to make your chapter a little long. Well keep writing. :)
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The worst bullies you will ever encounter in your life are your own thoughts.
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