First off, the guy isn't convincing. Most guys aren't self concious, they tend to be watching other things. He wouldn't notice his sweat, unless it was an obstacle to something, like keeping a hold of his suitcase. We also look at physical characteristics for hints of their character.
Also, guys aren't traditionally super materialistic. So, styles are generally foreign to us. Your character is seeing "American Eagle" when he should be seeing jeans. The male mind doesn't like to waste energy if it doesn't have to and "American Eagle" is pretty complicated vs. jeans. These traits are more common for women.
You can throw some of that out if I'm meant to hate him because it is working really well if that is the case.
Also, watch out for run on sentences and starting sentences with "and". Run on sentences are easy to detect because they talk about two different subjects without going to another sentence. They also go on forever. Split them up into two sentences. "And" isn't a good way to start a sentence because it is a conjunction, it should only be used only in dialog, and only immediately after another sentence of dialog. Example:
"So Arzor is starting to destroy Teddy Bears."
"And Dinosaurs."
[/example]
