Flashes Chapter 1

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Chapter 1: Insomniacs Nightmare

The little light of the night shown through my window, while the stone floor left resonating echoes as my foot tapped against it. The wine glass in my hand was held like the goblet from the last supper. Raised as if I thought this were my last drink. Perhaps it was.

Two days. Two days, is how long I’d been away. Where was I? When that time struck, when my conscience was in some other place, far away? Perhaps I wasn’t gone for two days. Perhaps my conscience had been there, just not remembering. No. I couldn’t lie to myself.

Putting the wine glass down and leaving the room without putting it away was not an average thing for me to do. But then again, I had just been away for two days. Lying in bed, physically, and then lying to myself about the situation. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw that hellish place.

Every time… I face an insomniacs nightmare. The peace of a sleep that I rarely get, becoming worse than staying up all night, at least when I start flashing. The bed, so soft, comforting, and warm. One would ask how I could stay awake on such a great thing. And a schizophrenic would ask how I can stay still when this happens.

Tonight however, was a night of contemplation and sleep, the elusive, and yet sometimes disturbed sleep I get. Lying on that soft bed, the white backdrop of my life faded to black as I fell into sound, undisturbed sleep.

The white backdrop reappeared as it does every morning, the light seeping through the window, irritating my freshly awoken eyes. For once, in so long; the insomniac felt refreshed. I no longer felt drained, weakened, or tired. Awake. Truly awake, without a disturbing tiredness lingering just under it’s surface.

The morning rituals came forth after the new dawn awoke me. Waking up, cleaning up, and dressing up was everything I had to do before deciding to walk. Walking, was a common thing for me. And after not sleeping most of the years I've been sick, I’ve learned every place to walk. I knew every alley, and I knew all the territories.

I knew where the dealers dealt, the killers killed, and like me, where the walkers walked. Not in such a harmonious way, but rather being intertwined together, being forced to fit into a space too small. I walked through the sidewalks. Mainly on the side streets, avoiding the morning rush hour. The roads were unclean, letting dirt compile into agglomerations on the sides of the road.

As I walked on the sidewalk, clouds of dirt kicked up behind me. I left a trail of dirt in my wake, as I left the town for the day.

Reaching the outskirts of the small town, I approached a hill. The hill was a familiar landmark, telling me I was near my destination. Climbing up the hill, approaching the top, I was a mere few steps from my final point. The grass underneath my feet changed to a smooth layer of stone, eventually turning into the Cliffside rock face I had spent so many hours near.

Sitting, thinking, waiting. Three things I could multitask at. Sitting on the rock face. Thinking, about the insomniacs nightmare, or flashes, as I will probably be calling them. And waiting… For the next nightmare, dream, flash, or whatever it was. Waiting, took every fiber of my being. Waiting, for some horror to accompany me for an unknown amount of time.

Anxiousness. The worst feeling I have, and a feeling that goes hand in hand with free time. I put my head in my hands and stood up, I may as well busy myself, less I start thinking. I walked away from the Cliffside, coming down the hill, as the stone texture turn to a green pasture. It almost seemed as if the bleakness of my feelings evaporated as I began to walk, rather than worry and think.

I walked back within the confines of the village, a small place it was. I could see my house already, yet I had no intentions of that being my destination. A lone man has little to do in his home. I walked the streets, and sidewalks, seeing the familiar faces of people of who’s names I still did not know.

The buildings, had an old time feel to them. The wooden roofs and bodies gave it an almost medieval essence, but, this was an old place. You couldn’t go to a house without a century tag on it. Unfortunately, cars mad a need for a driveway, giving these houses an odd look at the entrance, all of them. The roads were cobbled stone, since these had been walkways so many years ago.

Everything brought memories of an older time, but I had now reached the market. I browsed the baskets to see what goods were for sale, nothing particularly needed. I settled on a small sum of wine, and some food I would use at some point eventually. I walked back home, a place clearly seen from the other side of town.

After getting home, I prepared a small drink, it was getting dark outside, which meant I would at least try to sleep. I held the wine glass in one hand, putting my head in the other. I took a small sip, and left the glass there. Half full on the dining table.

An odd occurrence came next, followed by an expected one. It was odd that I was able to close my eyes so long… It was expected where I would end up.
Society teats each of us like an always burning candlestick. We reject immediate deformities, and throw ourselves away when we've lost our flame. Then we clean away any evidence of the wax...




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Wow, very well put together. I was drawn in instantly from the first sentence! Ignore this next bit for a moment, other than trying to figure out what's going on, I had no trouble with your work. Keep and it up! If you'd send a message my way when you get the next chapter up, that would be great. I enjoyed your story, but I do have on more thing. Try not to use so many word sentences, it makes it a little choppy, but I like your style of writing. Don't change it! Just be aware when those sentences are being used and ask if you're over using.

DeathCurrent
“Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here.” -- Spock from Star Trek

"There's power in stories. That's all history is: the best tales. The ones that last. Might as well be mine."-- Varric Tethras from Dragon Age II




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I'm going to get my grammar issues out of the way first.

There were quite a few instances, including in the title, when you wrote insomniac's without an apostrophe. When it's possessive it always needs to have an apostrophe.

The little light of the night shown through my window, while the stone floor left resonating echoes as my foot tapped against it.


This sentence is just...awkward. I would probably write it more like, The dim evening light shone through my window. The stone floor left resonating echoes as my foot tapped against it. But yeah, try to stay away from run-on sentences.

I held the wine glass in my hand like the goblet from The Last Supper. I raised it as though it was my last drink. Perhaps it was.


The names of painting always need to be italicized, and capitalized properly.

Then again, I had just been away for two days.


Try not to put 'but' at the beginning of a sentence. It's bad grammar. I have to kick myself for it all the time. Dx

I knew where the dealers dealt, where the killers killed, and like me, where the walkers walked.


Not in such a harmonious way, but rather being intertwined together, being forced to fit into a space too small.


This is awkward too. I honestly have no idea what you're trying to say here, so my advice would be to take it out completely.

Reaching the outskirts of the small town, I approached a hill. The hill was a familiar landmark. It told me I was near my destination. As I climbed up the hill, approaching the top, I was a mere few steps from my final point. The grass underneath my feet transitioned to a smooth layer of stone.


Sitting, thinking, waiting. Three things I could multitask at.


That sentence is a bit unnecessary.

Anxiousness. The worst feeling I have, and a feeling that goes hand in hand with free time.


I have no problem with this. Actually, I love this. Which is why I'm quoting it. xD

I put my head in my hands and stood up. I may as well busy myself, lest I start thinking. I walked away from the cliffside, coming down the hill, as the stone texture turned back into a green pasture. It almost seemed as if the bleakness of my feelings evaporated as I began to walk, rather than worry and think.


Cliffside shouldn't be capitalized. Last sentence is awkward. Also, you should watch your tenses throughout the story; keep them consistent. This part's a bit iffy.

I walked the streets, and sidewalks, seeing the familiar faces of people of whose names I still did not know.


There also doesn't need to be a comma after streets.

That's most of 'em, certainly not all, but this should help you out a bit with improving your grammar. As for the story itself, I liked it. ^^ You drew me in at the beginning, and I'm definitely interested to read what happens next. Nice cliffhanger at the end, although I think you could revise your wording on that as well. I had to read it a few times to get the full effect.

Very good job. Keep it up. I enjoyed this. :]



pain is that feeling when you are feeling hurt, but it never goes away leaving me hurt. oh it hurts.
— Dragonthorn