Looking at the moon

Spoiler

This... is... awful. I apologise in advance but it needs work and I'm stuck. Also, I seem not to be able to create a poem that doesn't rhyme!

When I look up to the sky
on a cold winter’s night,
I gaze at the moon
shining so bright.
The sight is so pure;
so real and so true.
And I know that somewhere,
you’re seeing it too.

Though the distance is far;
we’re many miles apart.
You’re always someone
I keep close to my heart.
And whilst I hope we’ll see
each other again soon
for now let’s stay silent,
looking up at the moon.

Just think of all
the laughter we’ve shared
and all of the times that
we’ve shown how we cared.
Those memories are some
we could never replace.
I hope that to remember
brings a smile to your face.

Because a smile is all I
could really wish for
and as time passes
I hope they’ll be more.
So gaze at the moon
as it glistens so high
knowing that I too,
am watching that sky.

Spoiler

Rip it to shreds guys!

Hey

As soon as I say 'Moon' in the title I read it straight away I love the moon big style.

Unfortunatrly I can't comment much on thing like punctuation or structure since I haven't the faintest idea (I don't normally write poetry, you see).

I can however give my opinion of what I read. I thing that the topic is very relevant sinec a lot of people experience it, so well done there. The content in general was also quite pleasing.

My only complaint (if that) would be the rhyme scheme. I would personally advise using a different rhyme scheme other than the ABCB sort of thing. I just think it gets almost a bit cliched and over used. It is however good for a nice quick read, which I think your poem achieved well.

Good job

*Sean

You got to the subject before me you meanie! Oh,well but strange as it sounds it is a lot like what I would have wrote minus the rhyming so I have to like it! So nice poem it was amazing and you are right it does rhyme a lot. Looking forward to your next poem!