I Could Not

Spoiler

This is a sequel to another poem I wrote, titled "I Should Have, which I will eventually submit.

I could not run away,
Even if I wanted to;
Because undeniably,
Every path leads to you.

I could not find another,
Even if I tried;
I’d rather be alone forever,
Than not have you at my side.

I could not sleep at night,
Even if these tired eyes demand me so;
What’s sleep without my sweetest dream?
It’s nothing, but a bitter show.

I could not live this life,
Even if time passes by with a grin;
Without you, I’m nothing,
Just an empty vessel wearing thin.

2011 Vincent Cuccolo

Hey it's Soulkana here!

Well first off these was amazing. The emotion and the flow was brilliant. My only correction is the first line which I think the word "runaway" should be split in two. But other than that this was good. No spelling or grammar mistakes from what I can see. Well I can't wait for you're other one ^^. Well I wish you luck =)
Sincerely,
Soulkana<3

I so loved this!!
It is simple, short and real... It flows perfectly and the rhymes are not forced.
You really did a great job!

PoeticGlow wrote:I could not runaway,
Even if I wanted to;
Because undeniably,
Every path leads to you.

This is my favourite part, but I think "runaway" should be "run away", right?
Anyway, congratulations and let us hear from you again soon, okay??

PoeticGlow wrote:This is a sequel to another poem I wrote, titled "I Should Have, which I will eventually submit.

I really want to see it!! Please hurry.
PS.:I'm sorry if anything here sounded offensive, I swear it was not my intention.

I do believe you two are quite right! I shall fix this minor error right away! Thanks for commenting!