Complications

(removed)

Wow! I really liked this piece! I mean, at the beginning i was like, a perfect world would never work and then you said the exact same thing like two lines later! It was amazing! I really liked the rhyming scheme and how you even made it make sense while rhyming that way, which sounds simple, but you'd be amazed how often I screw that up!

ThinLove wrote:Though in plain reality,
that's not actuality

That's my favorite line, it's catchy and strong and I like that it's the turning point of the poem, the part where the logical argument comes in.

ThinLove wrote:that's both twisted and swirled.
Where dogs are just dogs.
Cats are just cats.

This was the part I didn't like so much. It seemed a little redundant to me. The twisted and swirled thing just seemed to take away from the main point too much, and the cats and dogs thing did the same. I think, even in an ideal, perfect world, cats and dogs are still going to be cats and dogs.
So I liked this poem and I look forward to reading more from you!

This was a genuinely beautiful poem! Great job! A few things though... Some grammatical tweaks are defintely needed ("and wish a upon stars"). Also some punctuation issues here and there. However, the overall message you were trying to convey was amazing. Both your word choice and placement was fantastic! Keep it up!