Infected Chapters 1 & 2

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Chapter 1: The night I died

I was strolling outside under the beautiful night sky. The stars looked like tiny droplets of light hanging above the clouds. Everything was so perfect and peaceful. My life was perfect. My baby sister was about to turn two in a few days and my dad had gotten a promotion letter from his boss. I felt ecstatic at the moment; like I could jump up into the air and start flying. I smiled at the thought; a smile that reached my cornflower eyes. The wind gently brushed my waist-long, red hair; as if agreeing with me.

I was walking through the park, humming pleasantly when I noticed something behind the trees from afar. It was white. ‘Probably a rabbit...’ I thought, hopping towards it. Happy thoughts were swirling in my mind, making me laugh. Nothing could ruin this day for me because I had everything I'd ever wanted. Everyone in my family was happy and proud of me. I felt butterflies in my stomach at the thought.

I started dancing my way towards the trees when suddenly, a cold and piercing swipe of wind made me slow down to a stop. There was dead silence. I could only hear the quivering of branches followed by the sudden beating of my heart. They seemed like several black skeletons, daring me to come closer. All the happy thoughts were now being replaced by dreadful images of the skeleton branches grabbing me, luring me into the darkness.

I shook my head, trying to discard that thought but it kept bugging me. That’s when I glimpsed a fraction of something long and white flowing from behind one of the trees. I squinted; slowly edging towards it, completely forgetting about the shadowy branches. It seemed like a long white cloth. 'So it hadn’t been a rabbit after all.' All that hopping with joy and laughing had been for nothing. I pouted at myself for being so stupid.

Still, whatever that thing was, I was just as eager to find out. I looked towards the trees again, the thing had disappeared. ‘Strange,’ I thought, ‘I feel like something wrong is going on here...’

I could hear something flutter above my head, blowing a lock of hair onto my face. Pushing it aside annoyingly I glanced upwards. ‘There’s nothing; not even a single trace of any bird.’ I shrugged, ignoring it and was about to continue walking when I noticed my shadow in front of me. There seemed to be wings sticking from out of my back but that was impossible. I didn’t have any wings.

Suddenly, something touched the back of my neck. My heart thumped loudly and I whirled around, gasping. There was no one in sight! ‘It must’ve been my imagination,’ I consoled myself. Still panting, I forced my legs to move forward. I couldn’t run away now. What if this was all a prank and somebody was watching me.

The hair at the back of my neck stood up and the very next second, I heard a piercing shriek. It was so loud that I clapped both my hands onto my ears, backing away. I thought the world had turned upside down! It sounded like the shattering of glass mixed with the high pitched whistling of a kettle. No, it was a lot louder than that. It made my ears go numb, although I knew it was a mental shriek. I screamed too.

All of a sudden, as if someone had just turned off a switch, the shrieking stopped. I dropped to the ground and sat there, breathing frantically. My hands were still clasping my head. My eyes were filled with tears. I’d never heard anything as horrible as that. The beautiful mood I’d developed while walking through the park earlier had completely vanished now.
A tiny voice at the back of my mind spoke,

“Danger,” it said, and my heart started hammering inside my chest. There was no doubt about it that it wasn’t my voice at all. Something was speaking to me!

‘No!’ I thought wildly, ‘It’s not possible! Things like these only happen in storybooks; not real life…’

It seriously seemed like a prank to me, but who would want to prank me at a time like this? I got up steadily, bracing myself to continue walking. With every step I took, my heart would pound harder. Sweat prickled down my forehead and into my eyes. I blinked. Something would stir inside my brain after every two seconds as a warning for me to back away but I was curious. Who could be stupid enough to do this?

That’s when something struck me. My mind suddenly wandered back to the time when I was only seven. I’d been roaming around in the park all by myself at night, feeling rather lonely, when I’d glimpsed the same white creature behind the trees. Luckily, I hadn’t gone towards it; I’d run away instead. Now it seemed like my own history was repeating itself.

My breathing became very uneven after that thought. I paused again mid-way. After taking deep, long breaths, I walked quickly, taking long strides this time. The cold and vicious wind swooped at me, leaving me immobilized for a split second but I wasn’t one to give up. I gulped and marched forward hesitantly. The curiosity was killing me here! Then again, curiosity did kill the cat but I didn’t care. I wasn’t a little girl anymore. I was a fifteen year old teenager; one that didn’t believe in the night-elves, or fairies... or even vampires!

I was too lost in thoughts; distracted. My dad usually complained about that. So I wasn’t quite sure how it happened but it knocked my breath away.

I’d tripped on something and was falling forward towards a thorny bush. I didn’t want to get scratched; not in front of the prank-person. I closed my eyes and immediately after that, shielding my face with my hands but my fall was cut short by something soft and feathery. It brushed my arms for only an instant after which it was gone and I stumbled forward.

I opened my eyes. The bush was only an inch away from me and I was standing safely on my feet. Although I had no idea how it had been possible for me to not even get pricked by a single thorn. The wind suddenly whipped my face. I shivered, rubbing my arms and turning around to look at what had tripped me like that.

That’s when I fell into a shock, staring wide-eyed at the thing lying on the ground in front of me. My hands automatically reached my mouth to cover it. Even in this dark I could detect the dark red liquid still bleeding from it. From afar it might have seemed like an ordinary branch when instead… it was an arm!

I winced at the sight. The human arm was lying there, almost completely covered with blood which was staining the perfectly clean grass underneath it. I noticed that the hand lacked the smallest finger, wondering where the rest of the body might be. That’s when I heard someone yell. Turning around to look at the forest where the shout had come from, I caught sight of a tiny movement from the arm. I glanced down at it but it was still.

I looked away again, breathing deeply, trying to calm my mind when suddenly, someone leaped out of the trees at me. The person’s face was half covered in blood while the other half was disintegrating. He grabbed my shoulder, shaking it violently, yelling words at me; words I could not understand since they were spoken in a different language. He seemed frightened to the depths of his heart. I let out a shriek, struggling to free my shoulder from him. Unfortunately, he had a strong and unbreakable grip. His nails were digging into my skin. I tried pulling them with my hands but something sticky and slimy stuck to them.

It was all over the person, burning his flesh. It burned my arm too but I quickly wiped it with my shirt. That’s when I noticed that the person didn’t have an arm! I screamed, all of a sudden, at full volume, finally finding my voice. The man was startled and backed away, letting go of my shoulder. I stumbled backwards as well, still screaming when I saw a tiny flash behind him. The very next instant, a blade went through the man’s stomach, blood spurted out of it. The blade retreated and he vomited more blood. I’d stopped screaming and was trying to catch my breath. The man fell flat onto his face, lying still.

I didn’t waste any time and turned away to run when my eyes spotted a white creature standing a foot away from the arm.
It was wearing a white, hooded cape. The hood hid its face. There was a pair of white, feathery wings sticking out from its back. I opened my mouth to say something but no voice came out. My jaws were trembling. I was frightened to the depths of my heart which was now yearning for my cosy house where everyone would be waiting for me.

“I told you to stay away…” the creature told me telepathically. This time it wasn’t a whisper. It was a soft murmur in my ear or mind, I couldn’t really tell. My legs were wobbly. As I tried to back away, tiny needles pinched my back making me jump forward quickly. I accidentally stepped onto the arm and it moved! In only a blink of an eye, it clutched my ankle, digging its sharp decayed nails into my flesh. I gasped in pain, trying to pull my leg away but it was useless. Tears were aching to come out but I held them back.

The winged creature watched me silently the whole time. I looked up, ignoring the stinging ache.

“Who are you?” I demanded trying to raise my voice but what came out was a tiny whisper.

Wind blew again, blowing the thing’s hood off its face as I stared. He was beautiful. He had snow-white skin which made the moon look dim. His eyes were blazing red, staring into my frightened ones. He was a boy, not much older than I was, with hair as dark as the night. I realized then just how scared I was. My arms were trembling and I pinched myself to wake up from this nightmare but it didn’t happen.

“I warned you…” there was that voice again, sending goose bumps up my arms.

I closed my eyes shut and tried to picture myself waking up. It still didn’t happen!

Finally, after a few seconds of trying I gave up and opened my eyes again. I blinked. The person was no longer standing there. I looked down towards the ground, the arm was gone and there was no sign of blood there; although my leg was still throbbing badly.

I sighed. ‘It must’ve been my hallucinations after all,’ I thought when suddenly, something grabbed my shoulders. My heart thudded loudly and a scream tried to escape from my lips but a hard hand instantly covered my mouth.

“Oh, is that what you think?” said the soft voice in my ear, I was sure of it this time. I could feel the person’s cold breath on my neck…
A pair of sharp teeth pierced my neck and I screamed…

It was the night I think I’d actually died. My parents had found my body lying near the same thorny bush with all the blood drained from my face. I watched them take me away; watched my mother cry for the first time that night and my heart ached badly. That night, I’d walked as a human. Now, I walk merely as a spirit, watching my baby sister act like nothing ever happened. I cried but no tears came out. I felt helpless and had no energy left to fend off the darkness calling me. I gave in to it...


Chapter 2: Waking up

I could hear faint murmurs around me. My body was completely numb at the moment. I felt light-headed but the fact that I didn’t have any preceding memories bothered me. Who was I and where was I?

I didn’t know…

From all the murmuring around me, the only one voice I could detect was that of a lady’s. It was hoarse and loud, muffling every other sound. She was weeping terribly, calling out to someone; Scarlet. Was that me? For some reason, her voice made my heart ache. Why did it ache like that? I was unaware.

‘She seems sad,’ I thought, which was all I could do, since I couldn’t quite get my mouth open to say anything. Did I even know how to speak? Why was I feeling so empty inside?

I tried to remember something but all I could see was darkness. Every corner of my mind was full of darkness; not even a single flicker of light anywhere. That’s when the thought occurred to me, ‘Am I even alive?’ I asked myself. I struggled to open my eyes but it seemed as though I was detached from my own body. I felt like being trapped inside an unknown realm from which there was no escape. My fate was laid before me and I couldn’t change it.

‘If this is to be my fate, then without a doubt I'll accept it… but do I really deserve this?’

A slight throbbing started somewhere in my mind. It made me feel down and lifeless. My mind quickly interpreted the feeling and projected it to me.

The projection showed a beautiful red rose lying on a white pillow. A dim, yellow light shimmered onto it when suddenly, I heard a crash; ‘the shattering of glass’, my mind replied. The flower instantly turned a dark red and its petals began to melt away. They turned into a dark, dense liquid and rolled down the perfectly clean Pillow. ‘Blood’, my mind told me again.

Down it went into a deep dark pit where no light could be seen and only echoes of lost hopes and wishes could be heard…
I felt a tight knot inside my throat. ‘It’s the feeling everyone gets when they want to cry’, my brain again updated me with the information.

‘No!’ I yelled the thought, pushing the knot away. ‘There has to be a way out of this… I must remember who I am and what happened to me.’ I felt slight warmth coming from the very core of my thoughts. As I peered deeper into it, I could see a tiny flame being ignited. The cold and the dark seemed to shy away from it.

‘That’s it!’ I almost shouted with enthusiasm. I’d found out a way to escape from this dark prison. The flame grew brighter and bigger at my sudden response. I could feel the hope I’d once lost in one of my previous memories, come back. The heat was burning away all the sadness. The blood retreated quickly back up the white pillow, removing the red stains from it, and solidifying into a beautiful red rose again.

I could hear soothing chimes now and a new light shone brightly at the rose. I could almost feel myself grin. The light grew brighter until it obscured my whole vision.

Someone was whispering something to me, telling me to wake up. The voice was so soothing that it filled my heart with joy as I followed it into the light.

I coughed, feeling someone’s hand under my head as I turned it sideways. My neck hurt terribly and I coughed more.

“Easy there,” it was the same voice again. ‘Why does it seem so familiar to me?’ I wondered, finally opening my eyes. My vision was blurry as I tried to sit up. Someone placed his or her hand on my back to steady me. I turned my head a little to look at the person sitting beside me.

I stared till my head stopped spinning and my vision cleared. It was a teenage boy, not much older than I was. His skin was white as snow and he had a pink scar the shape of a straight line under his left eye. He looked beautiful with those glinting red eyes. ‘Those eyes,’ I thought as I stared, fascinated by them, ‘They remind me of someone…’

“Are you alright?” he asked, giving me a friendly smile. It was night time; a very familiar time…

Something ticked at the back of my mind. A tiny alarm went off inside my head. My smile started to disappear and my palms became sweaty. ‘Something is wrong here,’ I thought as I tried to get up, forcing my feet to stand. He helped me up, pulling my arm, but I cringed away from him, snatching my arm back.

He gave me a confused look, “I won’t hurt you…” was what he said but my mind was already racing ahead. It was showing me tiny flash backs about a person dressed in white. The person had wings. His skin had been snow-white and he’d been glaring at me with blazing red eyes.

I backed away, horror struck. My feet were still weak from whatever had happened to them. The boy took a few steps towards me, looking at me worriedly.

“No…” I spoke, frightened, backing away further. It was as if I hadn’t heard my voice in years. My heart was beating rapidly. Those tiny bits of flash backs had given me enough clues to determine he wasn’t good.

“Look, I just want to help you–” he was saying but I never let him finish.

“No, no, no, no, no! NO! You’re EVIL!!” I yelled, hysterically. I could feel a warm liquid roll down my cheek as I turned away to run. ‘Tears’, my mind informed me.

“No, wait–” He was coming towards me. I didn’t wait for a second and started running blindly. I’d only taken a few steps after which I tripped.

I gasped at the sight in front of me. I was about to fall off a cliff! My head tilted upwards for only a split second. The night sky looked beautiful; exactly like it was last time I saw it. The stars seemed to shine brighter this time. I looked down and saw the ocean smile at me nastily. I thought this was it. Perhaps this time I was to die once and for all; no changing my fate... ‘Not this time,’ I thought when suddenly, a pair of strong hands grabbed me and pulled me back.
I fell to the ground, panting frantically. My heart was still hammering inside my chest. A comforting hand rested on my right shoulder.

“It’s alright…” it was the boy again, “You’re safe now.”

Realization struck me again and I crawled backwards, not caring if I looked stupid that way; anything to get away from HIM. I still wore the horror-struck expression on my face and he could tell I was terrified by him.

“You’re evil,” I whispered when I was about seven feet away from him. The boy didn’t come towards me but sighed, shaking his head.

“I’m really sorry about… what happened to you that night. I don’t think you remember much about your past right now
but try to remember the attacker’s face. I’m sure you’ll see the difference.”

Now that I thought about it, he was nicer than the person I’d seen that night. He was wearing a cool-grey jacket over a white t-shirt with black jeans. ‘He’s dressed differently as well,’ I thought. I focused on the bad guy’s face. Was it exactly the same as him? They both had the same skin tone and the same red eyes. ‘What’s the difference?’ I asked myself.

The boy stared at me anxiously the whole time. Wind blew his dark hair onto his face and he pulled it back with one hand. That’s when I noticed the pink scar…

“Your scar!” I ejaculated, standing up in a swift motion.

“Bingo!” The boy chuckled and I sat back down again, blushing; feeling rather stupid for running away like that. My mind
was finally at ease but my heart was still thudding violently. I still had so many questions.

“But how is it possible? I mean, I was sure that I died. I remember a pair of sharp teeth piercing my neck…” I shuddered at the memory, touching the right side of my neck, but there was nothing; no marks! I looked at the boy worriedly.

He spoke, “It’s true that you were attacked by a vampire; he’s my evil twin, actually. Anyway, you don’t remember anything about wandering around at night as a spirit, do you?”

I simply shook my head and he nodded thoughtfully, “Your memories will return to you in a matter of time. So please, I’d
suggest you stay calm till then and don’t try jumping off that cliff again. You nearly gave me a heart-attack.” He gestured towards the grassy area where the land ended.

“I still don’t get it… did I really die?” My voice was shaky. Tears were filling my eyes again.
“In the eyes of your family, yes, you did die…” he trailed off.
“While the truth is…?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

He took a moment to answer. When he spoke again, he sounded serious, “You’re infected.”
My mouth dropped open as I stared into those blazing red eyes, expecting him to laugh like crazy any second, but he didn’t. He retained that serious expression while looking away…
Last edited by Twinkle4ever on Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:22 am, edited 3 times in total.
You can wish for death... but you can't wish it away




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Well. This was rather peculiar. I honestly don't know what to say to this. It's either so good that it's beyond my comprehension, or it just doesn't...something. I'll do what I can, but I really don't think I have a deep enough understanding of life to do an in-detail review.

First of all, I didn't find any spelling or grammar errors, so kudos! However, you sometimes use adjectives out of context. Couple of examples:

"My heart skidded" Skid doesn't really describe the motion of someones heart. More like thump, or boom.

"it was an arm! I winced at the sight. " If I saw a human arm, I sure as hell wouldn't wince! I'd probably swear and cack my pants.

"sighing when someone leaped out of the trees at me. " Oh, someones leapt out of the trees at me. *sigh* I do hope they don't kill me.

"“Your scar!” I ejaculated" *Blush* Wow. Totally wrong word. Ahem, lets move on...

Overall, it was incredible. I didn't understand who the armless guy was, or why he attacked her, so I hope you'll explain that in any subsequent chapters. And also try to describe the surroundings more, so the reader can feel really involved in the story. Apart from that, keep it up!
I hae but ane gallant son, and if he were to follow me in my footsteps, how proud I shall be.

Time isn't a straight line. It's a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff



If fortis was here, we could have a teal party
— Pompadour