Blank pages

Spoiler

This is literally based exactly on my feelings right now - but at least I've got a poem written in the notepad now!!!

My sister gave me a notepad,
But I don't know what to write.
Blank pages they stare up at me,
The taunt me day and night.

My sister gave me a notepad,
And I'll tell you what she said:
'Keep creating lots of people,
In that clever little head.'

But all characters evade me,
No plot lines come to mind,
And when it comes to scenery,
My imagination's blind.

My sister gave me a notepad,
I'll write in it, I pray,
But for now I'll close it tightly,
And wait another day.

You're baacccckk~ you are, na?

Anyways, your poem!

Since my phone sucks, I won't be able to quote anything, so yay for you.

First paragraph, fourth line. It should be 'they' instead of 'the'.

The second paragraph seemed really.... forced. Throughout your poem the rhyme went smooth, but the second paragraph was just flat.

I like the repitition of the line 'my sister gave me a notepad', it was cute for some reason.

Now, the only thing that did bug me was how cliche this was :/ everyone can relate to it, but, its done a lot. It was a good try, but aim for something else next time!

Anyways,
I hope this helped!

Sakhi, over and out!

Hahahaha, that's so cute! So true! This was a refreshing read, thank you!

My favorite lines:

My sister gave me a notepad,
And I'll tell you what she said:
'Keep creating lots of people,
In that clever little head.'

Two tiny things that need fixing:

My sister gave me a notepad,
But I don't know what to write.
Blank pages, they stare up at me,
They taunt me day and night.

Good job! It made me smile
RedHead

I loved this poem! It was short, sweet and simple, as well as to the point. I've never really liked the long, elaborate poems. The only thing I would change is this:

Quote:
Blank pages they stare up at me, <---- Here I would either get rid of "they" or add a comma after "pages." Also, I'd chance the comma at the end of the line to a period.
They taunt me day and night.

All in all, it was a great little poem. I want to say it was quirky, but that doesn't quite fit... I can't think of the word I was to describe it :/ It'll come to me eventually.

Love it, and I know the feeling very well. Blank pages are very taunting and annoying and frustrating. Sometimes I am tempted to scribble all over a page just so it won't be white and empty staring up and making fun of me. Anyway, now that's I've mumbled some, I will review.

My sister gave me a notepad,
But I don't know what to write.

Good start, I like how you jump right into it.

Blank pages they stare up at me, I would take out they. Actually, well it's up to you.The taunt me day and night. They!

My sister gave me a notepad,
And I'll tell you what she said:You have an almost Dr. Suess feeling here, I like it!
'Keep creating lots of people,
In that clever little head.' Such a typical way of speaking when it comes to siblings. You already with this line let the reader know something about your sister's personality.

But all characters evade me,
No plot lines come to mind,Here comes the dreaded, but.
And when it comes to scenery,
My imagination's blind. I would change this to my imagination is blind or has gone blind. One of the two, just for the sake of keeping your rhythm the same.

My sister gave me a notepad, Why didn't the last stanza start like this? You should see if you can change the stanza above to keep the whole poem even and matching.
I'll write in it, I pray,
But for now I'll close it tightly,
And wait another day.Wait for another day would fit better.

All in all, good job! I liked it very much, you had good emotion, good diction, it was just overall good!! Keep writing!

I liked it! I really liked the irony you put in it, it was hilarious. And, i completely understand, writers block. It is so annoying, right? Anyways, I thought you did a great job, and I didn't see any grammer issues. The flow was nice.
Keep Writing!

I think this is a funny little poem. I, myself like to write these short rhymers.

My sister gave me a notepad,
But I don't know what to write.
Blank pages, they stare up at me,
The taunt me day and night.

My sister gave me a notepad,
And I'll tell you what she said:
'Keep creating lots of people,
In that clever little head.' 'Keep creating lots of people' seems a bit wooden and out of place in this poem. It just seems like an awkward line.

My sister gave me a notepad,
I'll write in it, I pray,
But for now, I'll close it tightly,
And wait another day.

Otherwise, pretty well done stuff here. Good job with the rhymes, and keep on writing!

Very cleverly written,The last six comments has done justice to the review, and I think this piece would be a blast if you revised it and make corrections where necessary. I tried criticizing but I came up with nothing. Since I don't want to leave a blank page, I'll say.... your avatar can be very distracting. Anyways, good job.

Hi there!

I remember reading this a couple weeks ago (or maybe a couple days?) but I didn't comment on it, so here goes! My comments are in red below.

IcyFlame wrote:My sister gave me a notepad,
But I don't know what to write.
Blank pages they stare up at me,
The taunt me day and night.
Great start to this. But the rhyming is off. You rhymed the second and last lines, but not the first and third. I'm not much of a poetry expert, but I don't think I've heard of a rhyme scheme like that. Correct me if I'm wrong.

My sister gave me a notepad, Good repetition, it keeps the poem flowing.
And I'll tell you what she said:
'Keep creating lots of people,
In that clever little head.' I like the quotation you wrote here. Very cute! In a good way of course.

But all characters evade me,
No plot lines come to mind,
And when it comes to scenery,
My imagination's blind. Ah, the hated writers block.

My sister gave me a notepad,
I'll write in it, I pray,
But for now I'll close it tightly,
And wait another day.

That was a great ending. I like how you took an event in your life and expanded on it. To anyone else, a notepad means almost nothing. But you took your feelings and shared them, telling us how much this notepad means to you.

I really enjoyed reading this poem! Keep writing!

this is really good. I loved reading it, but it could have been longer. eight out of ten...

I like this poem a lot, but I don't really have many suggestions, since it's just fine the way it is...

Maybe,

"My imagination's blank," should be somewhat changed. I feel as though it chops off the wonderful rhythm you had going. But other than that, I like it.

Let me know when that notebook is opened! Keep writing! So jealous....your poetry, as well as your novel, is great too!

AMAZING!! It's really cute. Besides descripting perfectly well the lack of inspiration, it is like you were actually writting it out of nowhere. The fact that it does not seem like you are searching for words and forcing rhymes is great. Congratulations. Reconsider revising it for simple spelling errors, like the use of "the" instead of "they", things like that.