How Do You Want To Go?

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Rasp, rasp.

The breeze teases my hair. It's stronger up here, where there are few tall buildings. And by that, I mean few buildings taller than the one I'm currently perched on. I consider how I want to go.

Rasp, rasp.

The rhythmic motion of lightly scraping the razor up the length of my forearm comforts me. It seems to slow the chaos occuring below. A police officer is shouting through a megaphone, but he's too far away for me to hear. I can read his lips though, that's one thing I'm good at. Come down, he says, This doesn't have to happen. He continues in this fashion, but I look away to tune him out. I decide to use my razorblade instead of jumping. It'll traumatise less people.

Rasp, rasp.

I reflect upon how cruel life is. How, even though I am perfectly normal - except for one tiny defect - I am ridiculed and shunned by the people around me. If I'm facing you, you'd never even notice. My thoughts drift as I run through all the little digs over the years. All the petty insults, the teasing, even the pity. I think it's the pity that angers me most. I notice that my fists are clenched and release them, breathing deeply through my nose. The razorblade has cut into my index finger, but it's so sharp that I can barely feel it. That will come later, when it starts to heal. I chuckle. Later, what a good joke.

Rasp, rasp.

I resume the stroking motion to calm myself further. Idily staring down at the commotion again, I see one of the cops push a woman back into the crowd. I frown. She looks exactly like - no, it is my mother. I close my eyes and sigh. That's going to make this harder. Opening my eyes again I notice the policeman push her back again, so I flick the razorblade at him. It might even hit him.
Realising what I've just done, I resign myself to having only one path upon which to travel forward. Or rather, down. Shit, I say to myself, feeling the vibrations travel up my jawbones, Might as well get this over with. I stand up, and everyone below me stops. I make a sudden decision to go out with a flourish.
Double backflip, I shout down to the quietened crowds, with pike. After a quick theatrical stretch, I crouch down and launch myself into the abyss. I arch my back to force my body into a backflip, but as I come down I realise I've misjudged it. I know I've misjudged it because my head cracks off the side of the building. Even through the pain though, I attempt another wisecrack as the impact spins my body into a somersault.
"Change of plan!" I hear myself shout, "Double somersault with pike!"
As the ground approaches, I hear a telephone ring in a room that I fall past. This coupled with the fact that I actually heard myself speak, rapidly brings me to the conclusion that the knock on the head has cured my deafness. I bring myself into a pike despite the shock, lamenting the irony of the situation as screams erupt from beneath me. Guess I will be traumatising everyone after all.
If only I had kept my razorblade.
I hae but ane gallant son, and if he were to follow me in my footsteps, how proud I shall be.

Time isn't a straight line. It's a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff




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Hi there!

This is a good story and quite a good read. I like how you put 'rasp, rasp' in there many times before switching your main character's thoughts. You imagery is great and you really get inside your character's head.

One thing I am slightly confused about is what the character's tiny defect is. By the end of the story I got the impression that he's deaf, but if he was he wouldn't be able to hear people teasing him, right? You may want to clear that up a little bit.

Overall this is a good story. Keep writing!
Noelle is the name, reviewing and writing cliffhangers is the game.

Writer of fantasy, action/adventure, and magic. Huzzah!

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I might consider that one of the best short-stories I have ever read here on YWS. The idea itself was tragic but still it won't stop the reader from getting pleased at how well it was written by the time he/she finished reading your story.
(I just wonder what does the word 'rasp' mean? Is it something related to the wind mentioned in your story?)
So I didn't see any grammar or punctuation errors in your story, (seems that you've worked well on it) good luck in the contest.
@Noelle: I guess teasing is not only expressed by words and also don't forget the fact that the hero of the story is quite good at reading lips. :wink:
★L9



The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.
— Lemony Snicket