An Old Chess Set

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Ah yes. This is what happens to mwa when I get the notion to write in the wee hours of 3 AM. Please rip this to shreds, I'd love all the help I can get as I am still very much a noob when it comes to writing. Thanks!


An Old Chess Set


I wish that old chess boards and pieces could talk. What would they say? That is a question that I ponder often. What would their favorite stories be? They might talk of the courageous way each of them fought, or the time they were once hunted like buffalo, picked off one by one until the plains were cleared. How would the knights recollect their knighthood? Maybe they would tell of the ferocious battles in which they died gruesomely; or, the times they were considered heroes, playing a huge part in a sneak attack on a foe's unsuspecting queen, sending her king's men into an uproar. What of the poor pawns? They might reminisce about the days they were prisoners of war, giving themselves up loyally and gallantly for a fellow bishop, rook, or even their beloved queen. How did the bishops take their roles? Were they ever jealous of a rook? Did the black bishop ever despise his good twin, forevermore dwelling in the white, while forced to remain in the black? Maybe the rooks were ignorant of their freedom, the way they zoomed back and forth, giving the board a nice rub. Though, maybe yet, they were humble, staying near-by to protect their king. I sometimes wonder if the rooks prefer to be called castles. Castles, standing firm and tall for their rights to live, swerving death if need be.

How does the king handle so many battles? A king's tale would probably be the best. He watches carefully, barking orders, controlling pandemonium when it strikes, dodging a bishop's spear, ducking at the sight of arrows flying from a rook's hidden archer. Above all, however, the king might keep a careful eye on his queen, in the thick of battle herself. She is poised and ready to attack, with speed and agility on her side, along with a faithful knight or two. I can almost feel the fire in the king's eyes as he tells of the mishaps when his lovely queen was drastically taken from him. Yet, there is admiration from all his surviving soldiers when he maintains order amidst the chaos raining down upon him. On occasion, when he'd been check-mated, the integrity filled king, accepts the sentence carried out by his foes. He knew however, that his men fought honorably, then died courageously as martyrs, for him, their king.

What of the board though? I think he may be the smartest of them all; always watching each and every dual, and learning each army's secrets. He has seen everything: castling, pawning, and numerous life and death situations. How does he feel, forever being conquered? Maybe he likes the attention though, the sometimes daily slayings he gets with the two armies going to and fro across his back. Eventually, all the coming back and forth, might start to wear on him, digging story-filled ruts, each one with a different strategy in it.

After all the bloodshed is cleaned up and put in order, the king, his queen, and his men, will conspire to once again attack their foes. After a strategy has been decided upon, they will attempt to rule the board yet another time. Until then, both teams might gather together at the center of the board, to tell of battle scars, victories, losses, and possibly even a tip to make each other more challenged and equipped for the next battle of the board.
Last edited by LiveLifeLoud on Tue Sep 06, 2011 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
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This was really, really interesting. I absolutely love how you used the concept of a chess game to make something so interesting and query based. It's really well written and your word choice is sublime. I really don't have much to critique you on. There was one sentence where the diction was sometimes contradictory, and I'm not sure that it works so well.

Maybe he likes the attention though, the sometimes daily massages he gets with the two armies going back and forth across his back.


Okay, so there's two things. When one reads the word massage, they think nice, soothing and relaxing. However, the image of these armies fighting on the back of the chess board is rough and dark, the complete opposite of a massage. I just found the word placement here odd, but it could very well just be me. I would find some other way to word this sentence, as it is a little odd to read anyway.

The other problem is the word 'back' that you repeat too closely together. I would suggest "going to and fro", but it's completely up to you.

I really enjoyed reading this. I love the title.

-Jared
Just write -- the rest of life will follow.

Would love help on this.




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Hola! ^.^
This was beautiful. I'm sorry, I saw nothing wrong with it at all. It was so unique, I've never read something about a chess set before. Your writing flowed really well, and I agree with BigBadBear about your word choice. I really loved it, great job!! Sorry this is of no help. xD
We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.



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