Spoiler
Austin, Charlie Black's friend, is responsible for accidentally stabbing and killing Aimee Cardle. A few weeks had passed after the stabbing when the boys met Zoey and her friend, Beth. Aimee Cardle was Zoey's sister. They all met up again some time later, and it was organised that Charlie would be homeschooled by Zoey's mum, Sophie. Throughout this, Charlie and Zoey began getting to know each other better.
After Charlie kissed Zoey for the first time, she told him about her sister's death, and Charlie realised that she was the girl Austin killed. Charlie then upset Zoey because of what he discovered, but afterwards, he managed to get her to forgive him. The day ended with them kissing.
Charlie and Zoey are currently in a park in Zoey's neighbourhood. Charlie helped Zoey conquer one of her OCDish fears, and they're now sitting down on a bench, chatting.
After Charlie kissed Zoey for the first time, she told him about her sister's death, and Charlie realised that she was the girl Austin killed. Charlie then upset Zoey because of what he discovered, but afterwards, he managed to get her to forgive him. The day ended with them kissing.
Charlie and Zoey are currently in a park in Zoey's neighbourhood. Charlie helped Zoey conquer one of her OCDish fears, and they're now sitting down on a bench, chatting.
Stop and Stare ~ Part Twenty-Four
Charlie
There was a sympathetic look surfacing in Zoey’s eyes when I lifted my gaze to her, and the moment I realised that, I felt like kicking myself. I needed to start thinking before I spoke. The last thing I wanted, the last thing I deserved was any kind of sympathy, especially not from her. I turned away and watched the kids as one of their parents raced after them when they made a break for it out of the park. Just when I thought Zoey had forgotten what I’d said, she began speaking again.
“I miss my childhood,” she said as I turned back to her. “Everything’s so much more... serious now. I never really thought about the dangers of things either. When I was a toddler, I’d sit on any kind of swing that was put in front of me.” She smiled. “Aimee’s always in my childhood when I think about it too.”
My heart twisted. That was where she would have remained too because any chances of Zoey having new memories with her sister had been destroyed, no thanks to me. Crap, I was doing it again. I was supposed to avoid thinking about Aimee, especially when I was with Zoey. When she was talking about her sister though, doing exactly that became a bit more than a challenge.
“You know, I almost stopped her that night,” Zoey said quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“The night she was... you know. I followed her outside, I followed her out of my house, out of my street, and I even followed her into the forest. I was so close...” She paused. “But then I lost her.”
Zoey’s neck made an almost slithering movement, which I instantly knew showed that she’d swallowed hard. She was looking at me, but her concentration was somewhere else. My body stiffened. That night, Zoey was there? She was with her sister at some point? Well, close to it anyway. What would have happened if Zoey had kept track of Aimee? Shit, what would have happened if Zoey was there when the stabbing happened? If Zoey hadn’t lost track of Aimee, she could have been the one lying stiffly underground. It could have been her.
“It feels weirdly good to be doing this.” It doesn’t feel good to me. “You won’t believe how touchy the subject of my sister is in my house. My brother’s just given up on it all, my mum’s acting as if Aimee never even existed, and my dad’s obsessed with it so much that he’s hired a private detective. I just wish they could act... normal.” I had a feeling Zoey was expressing something that had been weighing down her mind for far too long, and just my luck, I was the one it was being puked out to.
“Um...” I sounded so helpless.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to make you feel awkward.”
“It’s fine,” I replied, hoping that what she said was a sign that she’d finished speaking about Aimee.
We were both silent after that, which I was mostly thankful for. Although, I did notice Zoey glancing at me every now and then as though she was tempted to say something. I began tapping my crossed legs as a failed attempt to relax myself. When Zoey’s gaze had been locked on me for over a minute, I knew she was going to say something.
“Um, Charlie?” she said quietly.
“Yeah?”
“How come you always have...” She started waving her hand around her face as though the word she wanted to say was stuck in her throat. “You know, bruises and stuff.”
That was all? She wasn’t going to say anything else about Aimee? I exhaled an enormous sigh of relief. Thank God. Luckily for me, I’d answered the question she was asking me now plenty of times before.
“I’m just clumsy,” I replied. “I fall a lot.”
“Oh...” She didn’t sound convinced. “But you get them in weird places. I mean, you have marks on your neck sometimes, so I don’t really... um, get that.” I tried to say something, but Zoey carried on speaking. “And you don’t seem clumsy. You haven’t fallen when I’ve been around you, like, ever.”
“I get into fights a lot, I guess,” I said, struggling to come up with anything better.
“Yeah, but after what happened with Jax at the club, you kept telling me how you don’t normally act like that. Even Austin said you didn’t.”
I was beginning to wish she had started talking about Aimee again. Sweat was trying to break through my skin as I tired my hardest not to stammer.Why was she questioning everything? My mind tried intensely searching for something to say in response, but it was as if the deeper I looked into my head, the less hope I felt. In the end, Zoey kept on speaking anyway.
“And you just aren’t that kind of guy, Charlie. No offence to Austin, but he seems far more likely to get into fights than you do, but he never has as many bruises as you.”
What was up with this sudden outburst anyway? She’d never commented on any of my bruises before. I began rubbing my arms when I realised that I seriously didn’t have anything to say that could argue with her. My skin was boiling, and I just knew that my face must have been paler than ever at that moment. I turned back to Zoey as I waited for what all of this interrogating was leading up to, not that I needed to wonder anyway. I knew what kind questions she was going to ask next, and every bone in my body knew that it would involve my dad. Yet, instead of saying anything, she smiled at me, and then tapped the empty space next to her.
“Come here. I’m cold.” She tapped the bench again.
I hesitated, but nonetheless, I decided to get onto my feet before sitting down beside Zoey. Once I’d sat myself down, she shuffled closer towards me before resting her head on my shoulder and putting her arms around my waist. When she pulled her legs up onto the bench, I took hold of one of her hands. My heart was beating uncontrollably due to the fact that I didn’t have a clue whether her questioning was over, and she must have been able to hear it considering her head was so close to my chest. I waited, but she said nothing. I waited even longer, but there was still nothing. All I could feel was Zoey’s warm breath on my neck. The longer I sat there with her arms around my waist and her hand in mine, the looser my body became. Before long, my heart had returned to its regular speed. Maybe she isn’t going to say anything else about it.
When I finally lowered my head though, I came to realise why she hadn’t said anything yet. She seemed to be looking at where my hand was holding hers. My heartbeat halted completely when I noticed that my sleeve had been pulled up to reveal the untidy slits that covered my pale wrist. I froze. There was no way I could shove my sleeve back down with any kind of subtlety, not that it mattered anyway because Zoey had clearly seen them. Shit.
She wouldn’t understand it... She was going to start interrogating me, I knew she was. It was nothing though: just my way of calming myself down. Whereas some people used breathing techniques, or went out for a walk, or emptied their thoughts, I messed around with a bit of broken glass. It was no big deal. Besides, it wasn’t something I did daily, not really. It was no big deal. Nothing. I highly doubted Zoey would have seen it like that though.
All I could do was wait like a sitting duck. Wait for her to start questioning me, wait for her to get angry, wait for her to jump up and leave. I heard her take a breath and open her mouth as if to say something, but no words came out in the end. Instead, she slid her hand up to my bare wrist and gently wrapped her fingers around it. The last thing I felt was her soft lips against my neck.
“Thanks. I’m warm now,” she whispered.
#
When I arrived home, the first thing I did was tip-toe into my room with Mum’s box underneath my arm. I doubted he was home anyway, but I didn’t want to risk my dad catching me with it because I had no idea how he’d react to it. As far as I was aware, he didn’t even know it existed. Silently, I placed it into the back of my wardrobe, and then covered it with a pile of my clothes. The thing was pretty big, I had to admit. I paused. I’d almost forgotten the pocket watch. I reached into my jeans, and was soon holding Mum’s pocket watch. I better put that in too. After pulling the box back out of the wardrobe, I quickly placed the watch into it. I was soon shoving my clothes back over the box itself.
Once that was done, I entered the living room and more or less collapsed onto the sofa. I wasn’t entirely sure why, but I was shattered. So much so, I didn’t even notice Will sitting at the living room table that my dad and I very rarely used to actually eat our food on. The sofa was good enough for us.
“Have you seen Dad?” Will asked, catching me by surprise.
“Huh?” I sat up. “Oh, nah. Why?”
“He’s not in, that’s all.” Wow, two whole sentences without an insult.
“He’s probably getting pissed in the pub or something. He tends to do that a lot, in case you didn’t notice, Will.”
“It’s William, dimwit.” Oh, there we go. “Where have you been all day?”
As I finally looked at my brother, a sudden thought hit me. I was supposed to ask him about that date with Zoey, wasn’t I? So long as Zoey was still up for it, anyway. I assumed she was because I’d reminded her of it when I walked her home, and she didn’t protest in any shape or form. After sitting up straight, I began speaking again.
“I just went out with Austin and some of the guys, plus Zoey. Oh, speaking of Zoey, do you still fancy her?” He might have gone off her, you never know.
He snorted. “Of course I do. Why?”
Ah well, it was worth a shot. “She said something about wondering if you’d go on a date with her.”
As though the whole world around him had become everything he’d ever dreamed of, Will’s face lit up. “Really? She wants to?” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “You’re not winding me up, are you? Our deal isn’t off, you know. I’ll tell Dad everything.”
“No, honest. Text her, if you don’t believe me.”
With his bogey coloured eyes narrowed, Will pulled his flashy phone out of his pocket and began typing on it. I desperately hoped Zoey would play along with it, otherwise I was absolutely screwed. Not even a minute had passed when Zoey texted back, but I wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. When Will’s thin lips curved into a smile, a sigh of relief left my mouth and I almost sunk into the sofa. Dang, yeah!
“She said she can do tomorrow evening.” He started muttering to himself, but I could easily hear what he was saying. “She actually likes me and she’s friends with you. There’s a first.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, lying down on the sofa again.
“Nothing.”
I eyed him carefully. He was doing a shit attempt at lying. “No, go on.”
“Well, you are pretty used to being favoured, aren’t you?”
In an instant, I started laughing. Was he stoned or something? As well as my dad, I was beginning to wonder if Will had a drinking problem. I had heard him correctly, right? He did say that I was used to being favoured, didn’t he? He’d either been deaf, blind, or possibly in a coma for the past ten years because one thing I wasn’t was favoured. I mean, had he met our dad? As my laughter continued, Will remained sitting at the small table while he grinded his teeth together.
“You can’t be serious...” I eventually managed to say. “You have met our old man before, ain’t you?”
“I’m not talking about Dad, Charlie,” he muttered. “Girls always like you better, and guys are always closer to you too. Besides, you were always Mum’s favourite, not that it paid off for her in the end.”
For a second, the last part of that sentence sent a pang of pain into the bottom of my stomach. “Mum didn’t pick favourites,” I muttered.
“You’re even thicker than I thought. She always took you up to that scraggy cliff.”
“Will, you’re afraid of fricking heights. She was hardly going to take you up there if you started crying whenever she did.”
“That’s irrelevant,” he hissed. What the hell irrelevant meant was beyond me. “Anyone with any sense could have seen that she preferred you. Besides, you were the one with her when she died, not me.”
“Yeah, ‘cause that’s a really great thing, innit?” My fists were slowly clenching, so I stayed still in fear of getting overly pissed off. I relaxed my knuckles slightly as I gazed at my brother. “Whoa, wait... Are you basically saying that you’re jealous of me?”
“It doesn’t even matter anyway because I’ve got a date with Zoey tomorrow, and you haven’t.”
If I didn’t know Will was such a jerk, I might have been feeling guilty right now because in reality, I knew that Zoey didn’t actually like him, not in that sense. I hoped not anyway. After today, I was pretty sure that she didn’t. She did quite blatantly see my wrist, but hadn’t called me a freak and left, so that was a good sign, I guess.
“You shouldn’t be jealous of me, if you are, by the way,” I uttered. “Like you so often remind me, I have the intelligence of a dead rat, plus our old man ain’t exactly brewing with pride over me.”
“Whatever.”
As Will collected some papers from the table, I fiddled around the gaps in the sofa for the TV remote. I figured the papers he was picking up had something to do with his college, but I wasn’t paying much attention really. Once I’d finally found the remote underneath one of the limp pillows, Will was ambling at an unusually slow pace towards the door. There was some comedy show being flashed in front of me now, but I struggled to concentrate. All of what Will had previously said was still hooked onto me.
Was he seriously, well, jealous of me? He’d hardly denied it when I asked him. Why the hell would he have even wanted to be the slight bit jealous of me though? I’d have given anything to swap places with him, so hearing him say all of what he’d just revealed left me almost in a daze. He’d had more than a decent education, he had a good amount of friends, even if they were all pillocks, as much as I said otherwise, he wasn’t horribly bad looking, and our dad had never laid a finger on him. Not once. Will’s eyes were glued to me as he continued to drag his feet across the already damaged, carpeted floor. When he reached the door, he paused. He muttered something, but there was no chance of me being able to understand it.
“Huh?” I shot down the volume on the TV.
“I’m really glad you got Zoey to want to go on a date with me, so... uh...” He cleared his throat. “Thanks.”
Before I could even twitch my fingers, he was out of the room. Bloody hell, now that, Will, was what you called a first. Did he seriously just thank me? I shook my head. There was something wrong with that kid today.
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