The sun illuminated the letters, each contour glowing perfectly in the waning light of the late afternoon. I stood there, letting the scene below scorch my heart further with each passing second, barely flinching when Ben slyly slipped his hand around mine.
As usual, this was both horrifying and beautiful. Ben’s devotion to me had passed the line of creepy long ago, but the warmth of his affection somehow managed to offset this repeatedly. I suppose it had to do with the fact that no one had ever shown me the amount of love Ben was giving. I had been so busy trying to survive in my own life that I never really interacted with anyone, and the people I did interact with wouldn’t know love if it came up and bit them in the ass. Now here I stood, hand in hand with a criminal and no desire to pull away. As horrible as it sounded, the sensation was lovely.
“It’s marvelous, isn’t it?” I knew he was looking at me, wrapping me in the gaze of those shimmering blues. Staring straight ahead, I shrugged off this invisible caress, knowing that the slightest falter in resolve would compel me to surrender in its warmth.
“I don’t know what to say.” Searching desperately in the far reaches of my mind, I tried to come up with some elusive instruction on how to react. He evidently took my taciturnity as blissful speechlessness, a satisfied smile seeping across his lips.
“You don’t really have to say anything. I understand it’s a lot to take in.” He chatted easily, ignorant of the emotional battles raging within me. “It took me a while to get the letters right; this was harder than it looks. How are you feeling?” He was still looking at me and my peripherals detected a concerned expression crossing his flawless visage.
“Why me?” I ignored him, blurting the question I had been wondering about for ages now. This procured instant regret as he spun me to face him, catching me with this stare and holding me there so I couldn’t look away.
“Because I love you, Bridget.”
His intensity made my throat dry, and I could barely choke out the words. “But why?”
This was the second time he’d said he loved me, and the second time I didn’t return it. I watched as his expression fell slightly and his tone melted from intense to casual.
“I don’t know. Why does anyone love anyone? It just happens. Sometimes we fall for the wrong people, and we have to deal with that. Some people are just better at dealing with it than I am, I suppose. Kidnapping and murder usually aren’t included.” He chuckled dryly, trying too hard to play it off. “Now come on, I have to fix my truck before any animals decide to nest in it.”
I smiled slightly at the memory of the damage I’d caused, but this reminisce immediately gave way to a sudden, less cheerful, and more pressing realization.
“What did you do with my Aunt?” We had been walking toward the door, and he stopped short to look at me nervously.
“I…she’s fine.” I pulled my hand away from his, placing it defiantly on my hip.
“That’s not what I asked.” I could feel my fiery glare smoldering any intent he had of lying to me.
He bit his lip, eyes dropping to the floor. “I may have convinced her I was a police officer and sent her home with the assurance that my department was on the case.”
“Oh my god.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, eyes closed. “You do realize that impersonating a police officer is a crime, correct? So we’re up to four separate felonies.”
He laughed. “Well on the bright side, I’ll have much more to worry about than an impersonation if I’m ever convicted.”
“Okay, first of all…how could that possibly the bright side? And second, this is not a joke, as much as you seem to think it is.”
“Just trying to lighten things up a little, is all.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, because it’s totally possible to lighten the mood when we’re discussing your criminal record. Which is quite lengthy, by the way.”
“I thought I was your parent, not the other way around.” He winked.
“Trust me, if I was your parent, this discussion would not be so diplomatic.”
This produced a genuine laugh from him, and I felt a secret satisfaction at melting away the layer of awkwardness Ben had adorned from my previous questions.
“Come on, I want to get some work done before nightfall.” Once again, he reached for my hand. This time, however, I was hesitant to take it, not wanting to fuel the feelings I was developing. My resolve was on the edge again, and I was in serious danger of falling. Pretending not to notice his implied request, I strode ahead of him on the old steps, slipping out the door and breathing in the freshness with the vigor produced when one is relieved of stale air.
A cool breeze swept through the earth, making the trees shudder. In the serene stillness of the forest, this disturbance created a melodious chorus of rustling leaves. Something about the woods always calmed me, and I watched Ben retrieve his tools from a small ligneous shed tucked away in the trees.
“Take a seat.” He gestured melodramatically toward the driver’s seat. Smiling, I slipped around the side of the truck, opening the door that was still intact. Before sitting down, my gaze landed on my bicycle. There it sat, still in the flatbed portion of his vehicle. I hesitated a moment, pushing the getaway thoughts aside and closing the door.
“Did you have to get a new door?” I questioned, stupidly.
“Nah, you didn’t do too much damage to the old one. Just busted up the hinges and those are easy to replace.” He grinned at my attempted conversation starter, saving me from embarrassment by changing the subject. “Do you want to learn how to drive sometime?”
“What?” The question caught me off guard and I whipped my head around so fast my neck hurt.
He shrugged. “I could teach you how to drive, sometime when…well, when I can trust you a little more.”
“Oh. Right, that…makes sense.” Awkwardness threatened to envelop us again as I twined a lock of hair around my finger and he worked silently beside me.
“What do you want for dinner?” He didn’t look up from his work, but I could tell by the tiny, pleasant crinkles in his face that this ordinary conversation contented him.
I shrugged, not as comfortable in the situation than he was. The easiness of it concerned me, as always.
“I don’t really care, just nothing with -”
“Shellfish.” He grinned. “You’re allergic.”
“Yeah.” I managed a nervous laugh, even less at ease with the whole stalker situation.
“There.” He stepped back and I did a double take at the now firmly fasted door.
“How did you do that so fast?” My expression must have been ridiculous, because Ben let out a hearty laugh.
“Eh, I’m pretty good with mechanics.” He wiped his hands on his shorts. “Let’s get dinner started.”
We walked silently back into the house, and I cast one last glance at my abandoned bicycle, knowing that I could escape at any time if I wanted to.
Ben, unaware of my internal battles as usual, began pulling various things onto the countertop. “How’s pasta sound to you?”
“Perfect.” My stomach let out a small growl, and I realized how hungry I had become.
“Good.” He smiled sheepishly. “I already made the sauce.”
I couldn’t suppress a grin, and instinctively stepped up to help him. “What do you need?”
“Well, if you could get this started, I could put the finishing touched on the sauce and get the garlic bread going.” He beamed, clearly satisfied with the fact that the patterns of our life were already falling into place. The normalcy still bothered me, but it was rapidly diminishing in the warm pleasantness that surrounded each moment. Plus I was starving.
I boiled the water, stirring in the spaghetti and watching through my peripherals as Ben’s delicate hands prepared the rest of the meal with soft precision. Spices flew here and there, and delicious smells filled my body with longing. He showed me how to season the pasta with olive oil and a special garlic salt, which he added to everything.
Once the food was ready, we sat at the cozy kitchen table, shoveling down the tasty meal and barely saying a word.
“This is delicious.” I mumbled between bites, disliking the silence.
He grinned. “I agree. Good teamwork.” Now we were both smiling through our dinner and for once, everything felt nice; so perfect. He raised his glass. “To new beginnings.”
Biting my lip, I hesitated, still cheerful but abruptly uneasy. Nevertheless, I held up my drink. “To new beginnings.” We sipped, and I had the sudden sense of permanence, as if that toast had sealed the door to my escape and firmly positioned me into a new life.
We cleared the table, doing the dishes in a silent harmony. Once again, the mundane situation made my stomach twist, and the tiny voice in the back of my conscience reminded me who I was dealing with.
Pushing these thoughts aside, we finished the dishes and stood together in the kitchen for a moment. A yawn slipped through my lips, and Ben smirked.
“Tired?”
“A little.” I yawned again and he chuckled.
“Come on, you’ve had a fairly long day. Get some rest.” I nodded, lingering for a moment longer before stealing down the hallway to change and prepare for bed. Methodically, I went through the motions, my mind wandering around in incomprehensible directions. Eager for sleep, I settled into bed and was about to drift off when I heard the click of the door.
“Hello?” I mumbled, turning over to see Ben slipping hesitantly over the threshold.
“Just checking in. Are you all set?”
“Yupp. Thanks” I sank back down, my head resting on the soft pillow with gratitude and listening with a puzzled expression to the faint creak of the floorboards near my bed.
“Goodnight, Bridget.” His voice was soft, so full of emotion that it took me a moment to reply.
“Goodnight Ben.” There was a pause, and I knew he was still standing there, when all of a sudden I felt his lips touch my cheek. Stunned, I lay under the covers, trying unsuccessfully to beat back the ecstasy rising in my chest as I drifted to sleep.
