Hey, Cammie! Here to review, as promised. I really liked this. It was different than most poetry I've read; it was lighthearted for the most part, but also had sort of a plot and conflict. My points will be in blue.
Cruising on a river of air
Searching for a tropical paradise
He bobs along as if jamming to tunes<- Interesting word choice; makes it seem informal.
Spots an excellent landing place
To rest his tired explorer feet
And close his tiny kaleidoscope eyes<- I thought this stanza was good; especially the last 2 lines were cute. The word excellent doesn't seem to fit for some reason, though... maybe "soft" or "cozy" to match the mood?
A sun-stained rose with silver tears
An almost flawless rosy island
But there is no such thing as perfect Very good. This has lovely imagery and sets up the plot well.
He zooms in on the speck of petal<- Not a big deal, but "speck of petal" sounds like... dust. Not bad, though, just a personal issue. ;P
Dives with wings tucked aside
Into the silken scarlet flower<- Good!
His fuzzy toes touch the unexpected
His charcoal and golden body quivers
The thorn of the rose pierces his side
His fragile, pom-pom form punctured
Crying in agony, limp and stiff
He fears as darkness overwhelms him<-Nice! You climax here and use good word choices.
And just when he thinks all is lost
A delicate hand extends toward him
Placing him gently onto the rose<- Yay! He's alive! Very sweet way to save him.
He sleeps there in peace,
Journey complete.Short, but good ending.
This was very good! It was definitely something I never would have thought of writing. The style of it seems sweet and innocent-ish, but still real. It's refreshing- not really moving like some other poems, but enjoyable and easy. (That's a good thing, every once in a while:) ) And I'm (very) allergic to bees, so it's pretty good that you were able to make me cheer for and empathize with this little guy. I wanted to point out your color choices. Instead of saying "black" you used "charcoal," etc. That's always a good idea! Good luck!
Oh, and "like" for you!
