Unforgiving

Spoiler

Ok....this is actually a bit of freestyle poetry so it actually sounds better when this is read out loud because where there are huge stanzas is where I usually speed up. If you want to know what I'm talking about then view this link http://youtu.be/EieFdXy_HwM. But other than that, please do not criticize this poem because it involves Christianity. Enjoy and comment.

Unforgiving
Four syllables
It's what tortures you
For you are filled with bitterness

It starts in your heart
Creeps to the outside
Not only sends strangers away
But warns your friends to hide

From you, yes you
The one they supported
The one they loved to laugh with
But now hatred is hoarded
In your heart so much
That Jesus tries to keep his home
But the Devil manages to make it in
Because somehow you can't forgive no more

No more
No more laughs, no more smiles
You won't forgive them for a moment
Not even for a while

You have so much hatred in your heart
From your eyes that person can't be seen
But you are the one who is locked in
For hatred in the heart is the deadliest of deeds

Wait, are you confused?
Do you ask how this could be
But wait you must notice that
Right here in 1 John 3:15
"That anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that a murderer has no eternal life in him"
So what does this mean?

God is hurt because
We can't find it in our heart to forgive our brothers and sisters
It's the same pain as forgetting God
And serving false masters

We walk around life
Serving the one above
Yet life isn't going well
For we are clouded by the Devil's love
To keep us in the darkness
So that he may laugh and we cry
With only a little time
For our hopes to fly

Away

Prayers won't be answered
You will continue to stumble
Unless the word of God is heard
Through all the Devil's rumble

In other eyes
What if it was the other way around
You will move on
With me here, still stuck to the ground

I heard your sorries
But I refused to believe them
Because to me, they were just as foul
As someone, coughing and spitting up phlegm

But that would mean no peaceful nights
Stirring in my bed like there's no tomorrow
Because of all my hatred towards you
In my heart, it had made a burrow

But then again, they say
Hate the sin, not the sinner
All along, the hate bounced back
Like a plastic ball to a mirror

So through all those countless struggles
For you to feel my pain
I was actually struggling with myself
Things will never be the same

But back to you
This is not about me
You need to find it in your heart to forgive
So your heart can be free

Because it hurts my heart
To see such sad faces
But we must learn from our pasts
That's why we can't erase it

We can't really let that block
Ever hold us back
We must be like trains
Staying on our track

So those who swear not to forgive
Don't roll your eyes and say wow
For the time is coming
It can even come right now

[PAUSE]

You know it's way productive
To read your book in the light
Don't go by your worldly thoughts
But what God says that's right

And to all those I hurt
The ones I swear to have lift my hand in might
I put it down
To emphasize my words as I apologize

Now I'm able to move on
Getting this off my chest
But be forewarned
There will be a rest

I hope lessons have been learned
And mental notes have been made
For forgiveness is important
A forgiving heart is what you shall create



Oh and I wasn't sure of what subject to put this on so if anyone could inform me (through pm) of how to really decided what genre to put your poem in, that will be nice

This spam review has been removed by Big Brother.

I Loved This Part Unforgiving
Four syllables
It's what tortures you
For you are filled with bitterness

there is so much feelings and pain in this poem, my eyes started to tear imagining a person feeling like this and at the same time is alone

Hi AngelKnight900
I thought that this poem was really interesting, and had some wonderful lines full of imagery. The message behind it was touching and poignant, and just really lovely. The emotion behind the words was very clear.

You won't forgive them for a moment / Not even for a while

I think I sort of understand what you were trying to say here, but it doesn't really come through properly. If you don't forgive someone for a moment, you definitely won't forgive them "for a while". Switching "while" and "moment" would make a lot more sense, though I understand that might mess up the rhyming scheme in this stanza.

For hatred in the heart is the deadliest of deeds

Nothing wrong with this line, I just loved it so much that I had to mention it The two phrases in this line just work so well together!

We can't find it in our heart to forgive our brothers and sisters

I think that "heart" should probably be "hearts" because you are referring to more than one person here.

As someone, coughing and spitting up phlegm

I don't think that the comma here really fits. It creates a bit of an awkward pause in the middle of a flowing stanza.

But what God says that's right

Here the "that's" could be replaced with "is", and the line would sound better and make more sense.

And to all those I hurt / The ones I swear to have lift my hand in might

I don't know, the second line here just doesn't seem to make sense. When I read the next line (I put it down), it makes a bit more sense, but I'm not sure what you're really saying here.

For forgiveness is important / A forgiving heart is what you shall create

"Shall" just sounds a bit odd here, like a command instead of a suggestion or a "lesson" as you mention earlier in the stanza. I would suggest using the word "should" instead.

Keep writing poetry, your imagery is lovely!