First Love

Everything is even more,

When he’s around.

I trace our names along the shore,

Our love set in stone in the soft ground.

I’ve never wanted anything more,

Or wanted anything less.

I’ve never been more afraid,

Or so uncontrollably happy

When love is not madness, it is not love. ~Pedro Calderon de la Barca

Quick, simple and plain - yet quite powerful. The flow was a bit choppy in the middle but overall it went on well and I'm glad you used punctuation This piece holds much emotion, I can tell... but I feel as though not much of it comes through since the wording is so plain. My advice; Try spicing it up a bit, add some imagery, make your poem come to life! You say one thing and then wanders off to the next before one has a chance to really understand what happened at the previous line.
You begin with saying; "Everything is even more,/When he's around." Now, I'd like you to tell us a bit more about this, how does he manage to make you feel this way - what's so special about this guy?
Also.. you say; "I've never wanted anything more, /Or wanted anything less." Now, what makes you say this - how can he make you feel such complete different things.. what makes you say the first, and what keeps you to the second line?
I didn't find any grammatical errors other than this. "Or so uncontrallably happy" I think it should be "N'or" instead
Overall, you have a great story to tell, but I think it needs to be developed a bit 3/5 spiders so long!


Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

HI!!
It is a very good piece of work, though quite small, and lacks rhythm. I don't want to hurt your heart, but by reading this, I didn't get any image in my mind, and was kind of plain ..... and what rough?? I can't say much... but keep trying and I am sure you will improve...... sorry if that hurt you...

I thought it was an awesome poem! It was short, sweet, simple, and cute! I did wish it was longer, but that's perfectly fine. I didn't get the part where you say:

wanted anything less.

It seems like there's a story behind this, which I think is just freakin awesome and I want to know it. Don't forget a period at the end. Other then that, it looks great!

HEY!
I think its a sweet poem. But it leaves a lot to be desired. Its just as the first reviewer said, you could have used imagery and mentioned what it is about this guy, that makes you feel so happy and special.
But good job otherwise, it does potray a lot of emotion!

Good luck! Hope the review helped, its my first

This is very short, very very short. I don't think I've ever read a poem this short, it's so unusual. The rhyming was simple, but effective.

I’ve never wanted anything more,

Or wanted anything less.

I’ve never been more afraid,

Or so uncontrollably happy

The contrast is quite something. I guess to go at both extremes you really make your point. Well done. Though, maybe make it a little longer next time