"God!"
I called into the night,
"God!"
My voice shook,
my eyelashes still dripped
with falling tears.
"God!"
My heart had fallen apart;
I couldn't see the pieces,
they were too small-
too broken.
I crawled on the hard, cold ground
trying to find a piece
of what was lost.
I just wanted to be reminded
that life wasn't all a lie,
that something had happened.
I wanted to know
that life is good-
sometimes.
My tears spashed against my chest,
my eyelashes-
begging to get out.
I couldn't keep the pain inside anymore;
I needed someone to hold me-
to say I was loved-
to let me know that I was not alone.
"God!"
My almost silent pleas rose to the sky.
They escaped my mouth
like a swarm of wild bees.
I couldn't do this anymore,
I needed help.
I needed God.
As I stumbled in the darkness,
my fingers found something.
It was sharp and cold,
like a tiny sliver of glass
or an uncut, unpolished jewel.
My cold hands wrapped around it,
and I swam through my tears
searching for another piece.
I found it-
Then another, and another.
I desperately clutched at my heart
until I held it all-
each tiny, frozen piece.
Then I sat still,
feeling the cold tiles beneath me,
the icy wind blowing at me,
the desperation in my heart.
"God!"
As I cried, the wind changed.
A hand came from somewhere;
not above nor below me,
not from one side nor the other;
the hand came from everywhere,
and from nowhere.
He lifted me up;
He pried open my stubborn hands
and picked the shards of broken heart from my flesh.
When He placed them in my hands again
I had to blink through my tears
to see that they were no longer shattered.
Instead,
when my tears had dried,
I saw a jewel.
Shining like a thousand stars,
hard as a diamond,
more colorful than every rainbow,
with a beauty that can only be imagined.
The jewel was full-
complete.
I looked for Him,
I wanted to thank Him,
to ask Him why.
Why did He care
enough to find me, alone and broken,
and put my pulverized heart back together?
As I searched,
my eyes found only silence,
but I was not alone.
“God!”
I had cried,
and He had answered.
