Broken

In an empty, dark room
I sit by the wall,
huddled into a corner
with a million shards
Of my broken dreams
scattered everywhere,
Destroyed forever,
By mere Conventions..........

This is pretty depressing, but that isn't necessarily bad. I think to make it more interesting and to make the reader really feel it, though, you should maybe use some more metaphors and similes and everything. I liked the one about the shards, but maybe describe the darkness felt as a black hole or something. It's just a thought. Anyway, I like the poem, and I hope my review helps.

AOow, I agree with the RainPainter.. this was quite depressing but not in a bad way. Any kind of emotion you manage to conjure inside someone is good! "If it makes you feel, then it's real" I do feel though, that you could go deeper, and express everything a bit more.. The feelings would get stronger and the poem would grow with them! I don't think that the fact that it is short that makes it unsatisfying.. cause that's the word I'd use for what I feel for this... it's that the lines are a bit poor.. You do have great imagery but there's just... something missing SPICE IT UP!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

In an empty, dark room
I sit by the wall,
huddled into a corner
with a million shards
Of my broken dreams
scattered everywhere,
Destroyed forever,
By mere Conventions..........

I think this is an exceptionally timid work. "Shards of broken dreams"? It's a pop song, it has architypal emotional things without revealing anything, or providing deeper insight. "The empty dark room", provides no further detail, so it remains abstract and irrelevant. There is nothing wrong with archetypes, or even cliches, we are writing the same poems, singing the same songs we were thousands of years ago, but "Destroyed forever/By mere Conventions" makes it seems like you want to say more than you do. Be brave! The power in writing is the discovery that what you feel is universal, you free your reader by being honest about it. Spit it out, and stop hiding, you're strong enough.

Such power over the written word and emotion. The poem is like a lamet to glass. When hit, glass is shattered forever. Keep writing for the sake of writing and more reviews will come your way.

This was a very powerful piece for suc a short amount of writing. If I had to give one piece of constructive criticsm it would be that I think you have written one line too many. The penultimate line is actually far more effective as an ending line as far as I'm concerned. It leaves the reader on a different note with many questions.
Keep using that keyboard!

I actually really like it, but this isn't exactly short and sweet. I feel like it really needs to be part of a longer piece. The style is really nice and I though all the words flowed really well. I just felt like i was reading a great poem but someone had taken out all but one part, and i would really like to read the rest!

This is really good. This kind of reminds me of my poetry, which is a good thing. I loved how you kept it short and too the point. You said what you had to say which is good enough. I would agree with some of these other reviews that it could be a bit longer. You have a really good poem, but with a bit more detail and with a bit more to say it could be fantastic. Also, I felt that some of the rhyming was a bit forced. I found no grammatical or spelling errors. I would simply say develop your ideas. Good luck!