The Parting

3 posts
Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1040
Reviews 7
The Parting

Act I

(A man is sitting with his eyes closed and legs crossed in the middle of a square clearing in the woods. He wore a long tattered robe. Lauren walks into the clearing and approaches the man.)

Lauren: Where am I, and who are you?

(The man stays silent and his eyes remain closed.)

Lauren: Excuse me, Sir, I have no idea where I am.
Man(opening his eyes): Nobody knows where they are. They all merely assume.
Lauren: I think I get what you are saying, but that doesn't really help me. Let me try this again. Why am I here?
Man: You walked here. I saw you come from the woods.
Lauren(frustrated): Do you know where you are?
Man: I told you before about the assumptions, but if you're simply asking for my assumption, I assume that I am right here.
Lauren: Can you describe this place any better than that?
Man: This is the place where we both experience this experience. The experience is where we are.
Lauren: How can an experience be where I am?
Man: How can it not be? Can you go outside of experience?
Lauren: I don't really know how to answer that. This is aggravating. Why can't you just give me a straight answer?
Man: These are probably the straightest answers that you have ever been told--you just aren't fully comprehending them.
Lauren: Well, can you help me comprehend them any better?
Man: I will do my best. Keep asking questions and I will keep answering them.
Lauren: Before I was in this experience, where was I?
Man: You were in a prior experience.
Lauren: What was I doing in that prior experience?
Man: Experiencing it.
Lauren(raising her voice): Why do you keep playing these word games? It is like you are purposely trying to hide from me what I want to know.
Man: Maybe there is no other way to know what you want to know without me playing these so-called word games.
Lauren: Everything just seems so absurd.
Man: Yes, I thought so at first, too. You must triumph over the absurdities.
Lauren: Have you?
Man: Some of them.
Lauren: What still illudes you?
Man: The same things that illude you--just to a different degree.
Lauren: So, I will never have my questions answered?
Man: I wouldn't say that. I would say that there are just things that you will probably never fully understand, but I do think that partial understanding is definitely attainable.
Lauren: How long have you been trying to figure these things out?
Man: Since the beginning.
Lauren: Since the beginning of time?
Man: No, since the beginning of this experience. That is all I can judge, for it is my frame of reference.
Lauren: And you don't know how long that has been?
Man: Are you asking for a measurement of time?
Lauren: Yes.
Man: It wouldn't help you much.
Lauren: What do you mean?
Man: Time is relative. It is perceived differently based on the observer.
Lauren: Can you just tell me your perceived time anyway? I'm curious.
Man: I don't think that there is a number big enough to adequately describe it.
Lauren: Numbers never end.
Man: Either does my perceived time here.
Lauren: You have been here forever?
Man: I don't know; I can't judge prior to my experience. Even though I have never perceived a beginning, it doesn't mean there wasn't one. I am sorry if I am not saying anything that you want to hear. I can only say what I know, and, I know very little.
Lauren: What do you suggest I do, then?
Man: Experience the experience. It is all I think we can do.
Lauren: So, I should just give up on trying to answer my questions?
Man: No, I didn't say that. You should keep trying to understand what you do not know, but I would suggest against dwelling on it to the point where it will distract you from the experience. The experience answers many questions. It tells you what you need to know.
Lauren: I don't know what to do or where to go. I don't think I am ready to go back into the forest.
Man: You could always come over here and sit down next to me. It is quite comfortable.

(Lauren sits next to the man. They are both facing the same direction and staring forwards with their legs crossed.)

Act II

(Lauren and three other men are sitting next to each other in the center of the same clearing. They are all wearing similar robes and are facing the same direction. Man #1--man from Act I-- gets up.)

Man #1: It is my time to go.
Man#2: Where are you going?
Man#1: To wander the woods in search of the next experience.
Lauren: Are you sure about this?
Man#1: The decision has been made for awhile, I have just been waiting for the right moment. This is the right moment.
Man#3: What if I want to go with you?
Man#1: It is not your time. Experience this experience for all you can. You will know when it is your time to leave. I bid you all farewell.
Lauren: Good luck.
Man#1(smiling): I'm not worried about it.
(Man #1 walks towards the woods and exits.)

Act III

(Lauren is sitting in the middle of the clearing by herself now. She stands and approaches the forest. The forest begins to part. She walks onto the path.)
Last edited by PandaSurprise on Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:06 pm, edited 3 times in total.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1078
Reviews 13
I really enjoyed this, and I usually have a distaste for play format. But I believe play format was very helpful with this story, as it holds alot of dialogue. I enjoyed the humor, with a message underneath it. It makes you think, which is what a goos story should make you do. I enjoyed this alot. Keep writing.
Society teats each of us like an always burning candlestick. We reject immediate deformities, and throw ourselves away when we've lost our flame. Then we clean away any evidence of the wax...




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3733
Reviews 1417
Hi there!

This was a really good piece. I agree with your decision to put this story in play form. It is quite heavy on dialouge and there probably wouldn't be much description if you had written it in story form. I like the way you developed Lauren through her questions for the man. Without description, an author has to work hard in order to develope characters. You did a great job developing Lauren and the man.

I just have two suggestions of how you could make this better. One is I think you should add more detail about how the other two men got there. I feel like they just pop up and we don't know how they reacted to the experience. Did they act like Lauren, or were they accepting like the man? And then in act 3, the two men simply disappear. Did they leave too?

Man:...

I feel like this is out of place. Instead I think you should just add another stage direction saying that the man doesn't respond or something along those lines.

Again, this was a great piece. Keep writing! :)
Noelle is the name, reviewing and writing cliffhangers is the game.

Writer of fantasy, action/adventure, and magic. Huzzah!

* * *

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." -- Steven Wright

YWS is life



Maybe I should say something quote-worthy, like, I dunno... "You can only be happy if you decide to be happy?"
— Necromancer14